The Light in the King's Shadow
by TeamEthanMorgan
Summary: After an incident that ended with the whole royal family's death except the Prince's the, now-King Ethan had turned cruel. Benjamin, frustrated with the King, decides to attempt assassination. When things don't go as planned, Benjamin finds himself as a servant to the king. But he discovers that he king might not be so bad after all. Maybe he could be the change the king needed.
1. First Day

**Hi, all!**

**This is gonna be challenging. It's a medieval story, so I'm gonna have to do some research. But if you like pain, suffering, and overall violence in fics, welcome! All others, also welcome! **

**You know, at first, when I thought of this idea, I was like, "wait, this is medieval, and it's gonna be set in England. Does that mean they'll have a British accent?" Answer is: no! Historical TV shows are a LIE! They all used to talk in an American-like accent. Fucking disappointing. But here we are!**

**Anyway, important note: this is my own AU, so some historically accurate stuff won't be applied here. The Gay™ was not okay before, but that's bullshit here! That mindset doesn't apply to my fanfic. I can do whatever the fuck I want. Kay? Got it? Great!**

**Enjoy pain!**

* * *

Normally, Benjamin was good at stealing. He'd been used to it since he was a child. Of course, he'd never told his family that he stole, up until recently since his grandmother was wondering where he had gotten all these fruits and bread rolls. But he still stole. He was a natural at it, and he was good at shifting the attention and getting away with food that was now his. He had to be a natural. He was poor, and he couldn't buy enough to support himself and his grandmother.

But today, he didn't aim to steal the apple that was in his hand just so he could bring food to their old, crumbling home. No, today was different.

Today was the day he decided he wanted to kill the king.

So, what better way to do it than to steal and get caught? He would be brought for punishment, and oh, did the king love being there to give the punishments.

He knew it wasn't a good plan. Not at all. He was an impulsive man, and he didn't have any plans. He didn't even know what exactly would happen in the castle if he were to get there. He just knew he had to face the king. Even if he didn't kill him, he at least wanted to tell him how much he despised him. How much his people despised him. He was a cruel king. Perhaps the king deserved what had happened to him six years ago. The people who had suffered with him didn't deserve it, but he did. He hoped the king would go to whatever Hell that existed after he died.

"Get back here, you bastard!" said the fruit merchant.

Benjamin made a pitiful attempt at running, then when he was caught by the merchant, he felt his heart beat even faster. He was scared. A part of him didn't want to go to the castle, but oddly, he was itching that he was finally going to face the monster.

"You shitface – you're going to face the punishments of the king. And he's going to cut your head off! I'll make sure of it! Federic, come with me! You suffered from his stealing, and you witnessed this man take my food many a times," the merchant said.

The trip wasn't pleasant at all, either. The merchant would shove him and call him names. He didn't care. He just wanted to arrive to the castle and get his task done. And soon enough, they were there. The castle, as beautiful as the previous Queen Samantha had made it, didn't feel so beautiful anymore despite the blooming garden still remaining and the castle looking just as grand. Now, it was the silence, the loneliness, and the unwelcoming nature of the place that made it unpleasant. And at the core of it – King Ethan.

There were others here waiting with fear as they heard their punishments. Benjamin could hear the king from the Throne Room saying things such as, "throw him in the dungeons", "a traitor like you must die", "burn the witch at the stake tomorrow evening", and other horrifying, absurd sayings.

So, when it was Benjamin's turn to see what his punishment would be, he felt the weight of his decision at last. What had he brought himself to?

He entered the Throne Room with the two men that had come with him, but now his head was down. As the men told of the many occasions where Benjamin had stolen and done other crimes he had forgotten about, he looked up to see the king. His heart skipped a beat.

He remembered a time when the king used to be a charming prince. He used to smile, see how the people were doing regularly, and walk through the markets with the cheerfulness of a prince who cared. Once upon a time, he had wished the Prince Ethan would notice him. Choose him as a Prince to wed. Or perhaps just glance at him. Because his smile was enough to make the kingdom satisfied. Everyone loved him.

But six years ago, his face didn't seem to recognize what a smile was. He was always frowning. He was always angry. He didn't look handsome anymore. As a king, no one loved him. Despite the fact that he was raised by the kindest king this kingdom had seen. King Ross was a blessing. And so was King Ethan when his father was alive. But after that, there seemed to be something in him that snapped – that rotted. And even when Benjamin looked at him, all he could see is a disgusting face.

The king's hand, which was fisted, had been on his cheek lazily, his elbow supported by the arm of the throne. He didn't seem to care. Instead, he seemed bored. Upon hearing what Benjamin had done, he removed his hand from his cheek as if ready to say something, yet he still looked bored, his eyes almost sleepy, but not quite. He motioned to the right of his throne. "Men, it's been a long day. I've heard of theft throughout it. Send him to the dungeons. I'll deal with him tomorrow. Perhaps have his hands cut off. That might be fun to see." He gave a smirk, but it was quick to disappear.

Benjamin gulped. He felt himself lose hope that anything good would happen to him. Fate was horrible to him. Maybe he wouldn't have his hands cut off and he'd be killed instead. Just when the merchant had shoved him forward, footsteps could be heard coming from the hall to the left of the throne. "Brother, why must you do this to me?" Princess Jane was here. He had forgotten she was in the kingdom this week. "You just sent the farmer's daughter to be burned tomorrow? And you called her a witch? Father would be disappointed in you. Free her this instance!"

"As if the guards would say no to you. I told them to listen to you, but Sister, you cannot go against my ruling!" said the king.

Benjamin felt the shoving again. They were momentarily distracted, but he still knew he would suffer what the king had decided for him. "No, stop!" Or maybe not. "What is it this time, Ethan? Are you sending him to a death penalty just because he broke a torch on the streets?"

"My dear sister, I would never do something so absurd," he said.

"With you, I never know. You seem to be getting worse and worse every year. Next thing I know, you'll be sending babies to drown because they cried in your presence," she said, her voice getting higher. She was always so calm around the people. Maybe her brother brought out the angriness in her. Although, what she had just said almost made Benjamin want to laugh. There was a reason she was so loved. She may be young, but she was worth a thousand men. At least, that was what her prince husband had said. He wasn't here to confirm that, though. He was too busy being a prince in his own kingdom and avoiding the wrath of his wife's brother. A smart man.

"My lady," the merchant said. "He is a thief. And he's caused many merchants great losses! It is too much, your highness. The king is going to cut his hands tomorrow."

She sighed. "It would bring you pleasure to torture your people, wouldn't it?" She shook her head. "Your hands will not be cut off. That is my gift to you. The king would not oppose what I say. I can assure you that." The king seemed displeased, but he didn't say anything.

Benny bowed his head. "Thank you, Your Highness."

"It is my pleasure," she said. "But tell me, why would you steal so much?"

Benjamin looked at the king, who was fuming silently at what was happening. Yet, as she said, he didn't oppose her. He looked back at the kind-hearted of the two siblings and said, "I am very poor, and the money I make is not enough to feed me and my grandmother. I would take another job, but frankly, there are more people in the kingdom than there are jobs. I do not have a choice, and I do not want to beg for money."

"I do not understand the point of this. I do not need to listen to pity stories," the king said. Why was he like this? If he wanted Benjamin to kill him right then and there, then he needed to speak a bit more. Benjamin would be delighted to try, despite guards surrounding the room.

"Would you please be quiet? This conversation is for people who have the capability to feel. It is not for cold-hearted people such as yourself," she said. Again, Benjamin almost laughed. She really could make the king stop talking.

The king stood up. "All right. Be done with this. There is no one after this man. I would like to go and have my supper."

"Well, perhaps this man can give you your supper," said the princess.

The king raised his eyebrows. "And you expect me to let this man walk in my castle?" he asked, enraged.

"He said he cannot afford to feed the family. We have work to be done in the castle. Servants have left you years ago, and now there are not enough people to help you," she said. "Have this man be your servant. You will get a servant, and he will get to eat."

"You have done enough, Sister," the king said in a low voice, a voice that would've made Benjamin tremble if it wasn't for the princess.

"And you haven't done enough. Shame on you for leaving your people to suffer. If you do not mercy your people, I do not know what would happen to your soul after you pass," she said, ready to walk away.

"Fine, fine," he said, beckoning for Benjamin to follow him. "I will only do this for you, Jane."

She nodded, a smile appearing on her face. "Thank you, King Brother." She turned to Benjamin. "You will work here now. But if you steal from the castle, you will have to be punished. We are giving you food and money, and there would be no excuse for stealing."

"Yes, Your Highness," he said. He was thankful, but his heart still wouldn't stop beating fast. He would be around the king now. This was going to make Benjamin's life scarier than it was before.

After things have been settled with the merchants, the princess had made the king come towards her. She looped her arm around his, a big smile on her face as she looked at him. In the meantime, the king made no expression of affection, but Benjamin did not doubt he loved his sister. No ruthless king would let his sister free prisoners. He wouldn't let her get a thief and make him a servant. He had to love her to let her do what she wanted. And if he didn't love her, who was there to love? She was the only family he had left. She could be the only one who can soften his heart.

Too bad she barely came to the kingdom. Who would come? People wanted to leave, and they _were_ leaving.

Well, now the merchants have left and Benjamin was left with the two royal members of the family. "Come," the princess had said.

Benjamin nodded and followed behind.

The king walked down the hallway that his sister had come from, all the while his sister was walking with him, her arm in his. Benjamin, who was walking behind them, was led to an old lady who was apparently the head servant. After the king had gone, the old lady smiled. "A new member of the family. Delightful!" she said, and brought him inside a big room – the servants' room. There weren't many in it. There were a few maids, chatting among themselves in the peace of this room, and two men were sitting and eating. He could smell the food. Was it freshly made? It smelled wonderful. "You can go change and wash yourself. The food for the king and princess is being made now. Once it's done, I've been ordered to let you bring it. You can meet the other servants in the wait. More are coming in a bit."

The first thing he did was wash himself. The water felt nice here. It wasn't great, but it was better than what he was used to. Then, he put on his new servants' clothes. They felt like soft cotton, unlike his rough clothes that he couldn't wear without feeling uncomfortable. It was then that he realized how poor he was. The castle was so beautiful, the clothes were nice, the food smelled delicious. He'd never experienced that. Ever. And his parents would never experience this. _Mother, father. I hope you can see me now. This might be the first night I'm getting food without trouble. _He swallowed. _I'm sorry, but I have to serve the king for now, just to survive, just to give my grandmother some ease of mind. Even if I _am_ serving the man who killed you. I promise I will kill him. I promise I will avenge you. But not now._

During the wait, Benjamin talked to the two other male servants, who felt bad that Benjamin had to be the king's personal servant. "He might not be as horrible when he is in the castle because he is not surrounded by his people, but that doesn't make him any less of a scary king here." That did not make him feel better.

Benjamin scoffed. "Why would he be angry at the people? We did nothing."

"I do not think he is angry at the people," the blond servant said. "I am not sure, but my best guess would be that he is frustrated, and he's letting his frustration out on us." That made more sense. Still, there was a flaw in that logic.

"That is not frustration," Benjamin said.

The servant shook his head. "I do not know what it is, but that is how I can describe it."

"The king's servant? What is your name?" That was the old lady's voice. Benjamin stood and turned to her.

"Benjamin," he said. "Is the king's food ready?"

She nodded. "Come with me, Benjamin," she said. And so, he followed her. As they walked, she turned to him and said, "Benjamin. Such a lovely name. The king appreciates lovely names. He would like yours."

"He has a fascination with names?" he asked, smiling in an amused way. He did not take the king as such a man.

"Not a fascination. He likes how names sound and what they mean. He thinks the meaning represents people," she said.

"Is that so? And what does his name mean?"

She laughed a bit. "I think you would find it fitting. It means _firm_ and _strong_." She smiled sadly. "He was always a strong man. It is now that he is abusing his strength. How unfortunate. Of course, I cannot say that to his face."

Benjamin wanted to change the subject. "And what does my name mean?" he asked.

"Well," she said, opening the door of a room, which he found out to be the kitchen. "I'm not sure, to be frank. I will have to do some reading, and I will come back to you with that information."

Benjamin smiled. She was nice to be around. At least this castle can be tolerable. "Here. Bring this to the king and his sister. I will lead you to them. They will probably be in the king's chambers. If not, then in the dining room." He took the tray of food being offered to him. He felt his mouth water. There was a whole chicken, a stew of some kind, a steaming potato with something stuffed inside it, an assortment of fruits, and finally, sweets.

"Do not worry, Benjamin," she said, laughing. "You will serve the food, then get to eat afterwards. Unless the king wants you to do another task before you eat."

"Let us hope he does not," he said, taking a step towards the door they came from.

"Oh, I forgot. One second, Benjamin. He needs his medicine," she said, rushing towards a cabinet. Within it, he could see spices. Many spices. And below, it seems there was medicine put into small jars that had a cork to close them off.

"Medicine?" he asked as she put one jar on the tray.

"Yes, medicine. The king has chest pains frequently. That along with vomiting," she said. "So, he has to take the medicine for every meal. We've already put jars in the kitchen so it is more convenient for us than walking to the physician before the meals. Or rather, it is more convenient for you now."

Chest pains and vomiting? The king was sick and people outside of the castle didn't know? What else did he not know about the king? He imagined there was a lot to discover in this castle.

"Follow me, Benjamin. And do as I do, understood?" she asked.

He nodded, walking beside her until they reached a door by the end of one of the halls. He realized he needed to remember where the room was. He was not paying attention. Perhaps when they get back, he will be more aware of the paths.

As they approached the room, he could hear the king and the princess whispering. While they were trying to be silent, they were still a bit loud.

"I am sorry." That was the princess. "I cannot come back if you remain this way! I love you, but you scare me!"

"And scaring you means you will cut all your ties with me? This is insanity!" he said.

"I am not cutting all ties with you! I will send you letters, but I will not come unless you change. And I do hope that you change. I want to visit again."

That was the last they said before the lady knocked on the door. Benjamin stood behind the lady, looking down at the floor. He knew he shouldn't be looking at the floor when he entered. It wouldn't be appropriate to avoid looking at the king, especially when greeting him with the princess. But right now, while the conversation was still fresh in his mind, he felt devastated. He didn't want the princess to not come back. Not only did he feel like the kingdom would long for her mercifulness, but if she does not come back, it means the king will have not changed for the better.

Either that would happen, or Benjamin would finally kill the king. No, no, the princess would come then. She would grieve over her brother. But she would be lonely then. She would be the queen, yes, but Benjamin would have caused her sadness. He didn't know what to think anymore. The royal family was causing him more trouble than he thought.

"Your Majesty, supper is ready," said the old lady.

A second of silence fell before steps were heard. The king had come to open the door. His face, at first glance, seemed mostly neutral, with a bit of his all-too-familiar glare. However, on second glance, Benjamin could see the sadness hiding behind his eyes, behind the quiver on his lips that he had for a second.

"You may come in," he said, stepping aside. His eyes remained on Benjamin, and it did not feel comforting to have the king look at him for so long.

"Set the tray on the table," she said, motioning towards a small, round table that was about the same size as the tray. There were two chairs around the table, although that seemed to be as much as the table could allow. He did as the lady said, and then stood there, not sure if there was anything else to do. "That is all, Benjamin."

"That is his name?" the king asked. "Benjamin?"

The lady nodded, smiling politely. "Yes, it is."

That still did not stop the glare directed at Benjamin. Perhaps, in the king's eyes, he was a thief, and he will always be a thief. Perhaps the lady was wrong, and he did not care for Benjamin's name. Why would he? He was a stranger to the king, who only knew bad things of him.

"Your Majesty," said the lady. "Will you need someone to be with you after the meal?"

The king looked at Princess Jane. "If my sister does not stay afterwards, yes. Will you?"

She smiled sadly at him. "I apologize, Brother. I have much I need to get ready for the travel tomorrow. I can only stay to eat."

He nodded. "Then I will need someone." _For what?_ Benjamin wondered. "Can you come?" the king asked her.

She laughed, but somehow, it seemed polite, and the king was unfazed by it. "I, too, have to apologize. I cannot be here. I have some matters to take care of. I can, if you'd like, send Benjamin here once you've finished."

The king eyed Benjamin for a second. Then two, three, four. When would he look away? Benjamin felt like the king was burning into his soul. He turned back to the lady. His looks were softer with her and the princess. It didn't matter to Benjamin, anyway. Maybe when he's dead, he wouldn't look at Benjamin this way. Wait, why was he thinking this way again? Didn't he just feel bad for the princess when he'd thought of assassinating the king? "Very well. I suppose it is better to have my own servant get used to me."

He didn't know what any of this meant. Why did the king need someone? What was Benjamin supposed to do? He knew the lady would tell him but he couldn't help but wonder for now. He had a right to know the answers as the servant, didn't he?

The lady bowed her head. "Enjoy your meal," she said. Benjamin also bowed, then as she left, he had followed.

Once they were away from the door, the lady said, "You did well."

"Thank you," he said. "But what does the king need me for?"

"He needs you for when he takes the medicine. He cannot eat his food without feeling sick, so he will feel weak, and will need assistance for a bit before he feels fine." She made a turn towards the right. He tried to remember that. "It will be hard at first, to see him so sick. If you have a heart for him, I feel you will find it hard. But with that said, I'm surprised he agreed to _you_ coming to see him. He doesn't like it when others see him in such a vulnerable state."

"I can understand that," he said. That was probably the only thing he could understand from the king's behavior. Other than that, there was nothing he could excuse or accept. "And when will I know when to see him?" he asked.

"Do not worry. The princess will come here to tell us when she's finished."

That was fine by him. He had sat in the servants' room and ate for a bit before he felt guilty for eating without his grandmother. "Can I bring some of this home?" he asked the other servants.

"Yes, we always bring our portions back home. The castle food is too good to be wasted." That was a relief. His grandmother would be happy to see such nice, colorful food. Even if the servants' food didn't look as great as the king's meal did, but it still tasted like nothing Benjamin had eaten before.

The princess had come to tell Benjamin that they were done, smiles and cheers on her face, then she had left to her chamber. Now, it was time for Benjamin to face the even more ugly side of the king. He did not look forward to this.

He had knocked on the door and waited for a bit.

"Come inside." It was faint. It wasn't the usual king's voice – the voice that shook the place with his anger. It wasn't that. It was so weak, it could barely be heard. Benjamin opened the door to a sight he'd never thought he would see.

The king was sitting down, not in a chair, but on the floor, his back against a corner. He was breathing hard, his lips slightly parted. And his eyes – they were tired, blankly staring at the wall. His body was covered in sweat. How could his posture and his appearance change so much in such a short time?

His was leaning against the walls at first, but then he huddled on top of a sack that Benjamin had not noticed earlier. From the sounds, Benjamin could tell the food was leaving the king's body. It was not a pleasant appearance. But oddly enough, it made Benjamin appreciate seeing the king in a new light. Perhaps he needed to see the weaker side.

With a shaky hand, the king pointed towards the water and the cloth that were laid on the dresser – the closest surface to the king's place beside the floor. Benjamin, afraid the king might shout at him despite his current weakness, hurried to get the items that the king wanted.

The first thing King Ethan reached for was the cloth. He wiped his mouth, then with his skinny fingers, he reached for the water. He seemed to be less shaken now, but he was still weak. He swished some water in his mouth to rinse it, then he drank the rest.

He handed Benjamin the cup back, and Benjamin put it on the tray that the uneaten food was left on, which surprised Benjamin. The food on the tray was split in half. One side had most of the food eaten. The other side, which had the medicine in it, was mostly untouched.

Benjamin turned back to the king. "Is there anything else I can do, Your Majesty?" he asked, trying to fight the urge to flee. Realizing how loyal he had to be to the king for now was not a great feeling, although he didn't mind him now. He was bearable.

The king lifted his eyes to look at Benjamin for a second before returning to how he was before – staring blankly at the floor. "You need not look at me. I am weak. It is an appalling sight. I know that." He took a breath. "I am appalling." The last sentence was a mere murmur, but Benjamin could hear it well. It sent shivers down his body.

Benjamin wanted to say something to the king, but he did not know what to say. He did not want to comfort a monster, but he did not lack empathy. He could tell the king didn't love himself if he could say such a sentence with as much seriousness as he did. But Benjamin did not have the chance. The king spoke before he could.

"Help me stand, Benjamin," he said. This was the first time he had called him by name. But there was no time to dwell on the fact, and to dwell on what this meant, if it meant anything. He just went to help the king stand. Oh, how he would have been happy before to be able to hold the-once-Prince Ethan before and be this close. He would have been happy to help him in his time of need. Now, he felt nothing but pity.

Which was strange. He would have thought he would have felt disgusted. The odor was not pleasant in the corner, and everything about what he was doing went against his instincts. He did not want to help him, yet he had to. Still, he did not feel disgust. He still felt hatred towards the cruel king in front of him, but he felt those emotions become numb at the moment. If Benjamin had seen a man in distress in the streets, he would help no matter how evil he was. And now, an evil king was asking for aid. Benjamin was not going to say no. He was a human, after all, and he had human emotions.

Once the king was standing, he had let Benjamin go. He could walk, but he was slow and tired, as Benjamin expected. _He is shorter than me_, Benjamin realized. He did not know why, but he had always thought the king was taller. No, he wasn't even close to Benjamin's height. It made him feel so much smaller than he even felt at the moment.

The final thing the king wanted to do was be on his bed, it seemed. "I will not sleep now, but I will not leave the bed. Would you blow the candles but the one on this table?" he asked, pointing to a table by his bed.

It was not as if Benjamin had a choice, so he did as the king said. He had gone to blow the candles farther away from the king first, mostly out of fear of getting close to him. Although, why was he this way? Why was Benjamin so scared of the king now? He seemed strangely polite, and he wasn't frowning and grimacing like he was before. No, he seemed more human now than he did before.

The last candle was the one on a table that was close to the king's side of the bed. He grabbed the candle, but his fingers brushed against a necklace that was on the table. It was not Princess Jane's. He had seen one Princess wear this necklace, and it was not Jane. It was the king's late wife. Benjamin swallowed. If only Princess Sarah was here. Oh, how kind and brave she was. She would yell at her husband for all he'd done. She'd make him grow a spine. But she wasn't here anymore. The king probably missed her, too.

At that moment, he felt the king's stare at him. He was scared to look, but he didn't know why he did anyway. It didn't matter now because the king looked away once Benjamin turned to him. Truly, the king was vulnerable, and he did not fight it, it seemed.

He blew the candle, then set it on the table. Even though he could barely see through the light of the one candle, he bowed and said goodnight to the king. It seemed like he hadn't had a good night in a while.

After leaving the room, Benjamin let out a breath he didn't realize he was holding. He expected to hate the king even more after coming to serve him in the castle. Why has it been the other way around?

It did not matter anymore. What mattered was his grandmother getting food today – and plenty of it. Besides that, she was probably scared now as Benjamin hadn't returned yet. She didn't know what happened to him. He had to go see her as soon as he could.

After he was told a few more things about his work in the castle, Benjamin gladly left with the meal. His grandmother would be happy Benjamin was alive, with food in his hands and money promised to him soon. He would not steal as long as he had this life.

* * *

Darkness was peaceful. It was Ethan's only friend for the past six years. People were scared of the darkness and what lurked behind it, but Ethan wasn't. He knew what people called him. To them, he _was_ the monster that lurked in the darkness. Even his servant seemed scared of him.

_Why am I like this?_ He wondered to himself. _Why do I drive people away? I have a choice, so why did I choose to be feared?_ He must be crazy. That's it. He was madly driven by loneliness, and he didn't know how to get away from it.

He wiped his face with his hand. His chest hurt so much. _Someone, end the pain. _He wished he could die in his sleep. He wouldn't have to suffer anymore. He could be with his family. He could hug his mother and father. He could be with his lover again. He could hold his one-year-old son again. And his sister would be a better queen. He just didn't want to be here anymore.

He turned to look at the table beside him. The servant, the thief, Benjamin had been looking at the necklace. Had he wanted to steal it? He could have. He could be a traitor to the throne. He should behead this man while he could.

What was he thinking? He _was_ crazy. Benjamin, as he was told, stole food. He was a hungry man. He could possibly steal jewelry, yes, but if Ethan mistrusted everyone in his path, he could die. He could be killed. He did not want to die with chaos spreading in the castle. He wanted peace. And he was doing a bad job at keeping it. He supposed it was a bit late for peace now. It could not be achieved.

Still, he could not stay the way he was. He needed to change. Or else his sister would never come. He would be alone forever. He'd have no one. A knot formed in his throat. He truly was alone in this world, wasn't he?

But Jane wasn't wrong to make her brother have a servant to himself. He's isolated himself for far too long. Even if his sister will leave tomorrow first thing in the morning, he wasn't going to be completely alone. It was a blessing in disguise.

However, the man was a thief, and Ethan needed to be careful. Besides that, he wasn't going to let him have an easy job. He still committed crimes and he wasn't supposed to be rewarded for them. He will get to that tomorrow. For now, he needed to hide the necklace. He could not have it stolen. It was one of the few things he had left of his family.

He held the necklace. Sarah, so beautiful, and cheerful, and strong. How he missed her. He did not dwell on her death every day, but he thought of her at the back of his head often. But hopefully now, she was resting peacefully with their son. With what little energy he had, he got up and locked the necklace in a chest.

He lied down in bed, and went to sleep. He did not know how he slept. He'd always drifted off into a deep slumber even with horrible chest pains and a weak body. But he did it eventually, and like every night, he did not have sweet dreams. Instead, he had ones filled with screams, torture, and fear.

* * *

**Here we are! I really loved writing this fic! It was soooo fun. Like, you wouldn't believe how much I enjoyed myself. I've never written like this! Dude, why can't I write this detailed in my normal writing?**

**Anyway, I tried to be as accurate as I could to the middle ages. Still, there were things I couldn't find, so I had to make up something. But in general, I'm so proud! Patting myself in the back.**

**Hope you guys enjoyed this fic. I would love to hear your feedback, guys! Means a lot to me! You've no idea how happy I get when I read from you guys.**

**Until next time!**


	2. Unlikely Help

**Hey, guys!**

**Really glad you guys are enjoying the story. I was actually pretty nervous at first. I was happy with what I wrote, but I didn't know how much you guys were willing to read medieval stories. Cause I have a few medieval ideas. Happy with the outcome so far!**

**Also, on a note, I'm trying to be as accurate as possible to their times based on my previous knowledge and my research, so forgive me for mistakes that you might catch. However, I can't be correct all the way. And I won't care to make every detail accurate. That being said, one thing I won't change is the names, despite the fact that I changed Benny's name, but that's because it's easy to change it without **_**actually**_** changing it.**

**To me, surprisingly, especially since I don't know shit about English names or used-by-English-speakers kind of names, I just found out Erica is like the least name relevant to the middle ages. Like, it's been used in the 19****th**** century or something. Not before. Rory is also surprisingly medieval. If I recall correctly, it's Gaelic, so it was used in Ireland. The rest are like Hebrew or something. Just thought that was interesting to share.**

**Wow, that was a long intro. Let's just start, my dears.**

* * *

Benjamin didn't know what to expect from his first full day as the king's servant. Yesterday, he'd seen a few different sides of King Ethan. He was cruel, sad, and secretly sick. How many other faces did the king have? Or was that all?

Most importantly, now that Benjamin's had a good night's sleep to think clearly, did he still feel empathetic towards the king? Did he really want to assassinate him? He didn't know. He'd have to see how the day unfolds to judge his own intentions.

Before he'd left his room, he'd laid eyes on a knife he had. His grandmother didn't know about it. She should never know. This was the weapon he had initially wanted to kill the king with, but had decided not to bring it as the castle guards could easily find it if it was hidden in his clothes. He turned away from it. He didn't want to see it now. This was not a time to make decisions.

Besides, today, Princess Jane would leave. That would mean the king stays alone in this big castle. Even Benjamin felt lonelier by the fact, and the castle was never filled with people in the beginning. Somehow, Princess Jane gave her brother life.

"Usually, the king needs to be woken up," said the head maid. "Today, I saw him walking early in the morning. He is getting ready to say goodbye to his sister. He is always like this on the princess' arrival and departure." Benjamin wouldn't blame him. If he had only a sister left in his life who loved him, he'd give her all his attention as well.

"I see," he said. "And what do I need to do now?"

"Well, the king and princess will eat in the dining hall in a bit. I would like you to bring the food with me," she said.

"Does the king need his medicine?" he asked.

"When the king eats in the dining hall, we don't bring him the medicine immediately. We wait until he goes to his room so he can have it there privately," she said. So, he shouldn't bring it. Not now.

Benjamin got the food with the maid to the dining hall. The king and princess were there, talking to each other. For a second, Benjamin thought he'd seen a smile from the King. It was quick to disappear. Benjamin would not like to think he was imagining the smile, even thought that would be more plausible. The king was just probably not a person to show joy, but he definitely felt it. He had to at one point.

"Good morning, Your Majesty," he said to the king. "Good morning, Your Highness," he said to the princess. From the corner of his eyes, he could see the maid smiling proudly.

"Good morning," said the princess back. "It's good to see you haven't fled for your life yet."

"Sister," King Ethan said in a warning tone.

"Yes, Brother? Have I said something that I haven't witnessed before?" she said.

"If you do not want me to have a servant as you have so desired, then I welcome you to tell him all the bad things about me," he said.

"I'm sure he knows all about them," she said.

She was witty, as always. Benjamin remembered hearing that the king used to be witty and clever when he was a prince. He probably still was, but he was masking his personality with his cruelty. But as Benjamin had wanted to point out, Princess Jane really was his sister. They shared some things in common, and it was clear to Benjamin.

Benjamin kept quite during the argument between the siblings. He did his job of putting the food on the table then after politely asking if the king needed anything else, he left.

He'd gone to get some food for himself then sat down to eat. He remembered giving the food to his grandmother the previous night. She was worried for him at first. She had demanded an explanation for where he was. When he had said he would only answer if she took the food, which he promised was earned and not stolen, he told her the events that unfolded, making sure to leave out the part where he almost committed treason against the king. She was angry at so many things that Benjamin had done, but at the end of the day, she made it clear that she wanted Benjamin to be safe and careful in the future.

He had finished his food and waited for _anything _to happen. Soon enough, he saw the princess where he was – the servant's room – looking around. When she laid eyes on him, she motioned for him to come. He approached her and greeted her.

"What was your name?" she asked.

"Benjamin," he reminded her.

"Ah, yes, Benjamin," she said. "I will be leaving in a bit. I have but one thing to ask of you. You don't have to do it, but I would appreciate it if you do. It would mean a lot to me."

"What is it?" he asked her.

"Please," she said, "be there for my brother. I know his people do not like him, and I don't assume you do, either. However, he is alone. And in his loneliness, he does horrible things. He becomes a danger to his people, and he might one day become a danger to himself. The only reason I decided to put you in this position is because I want someone by his side so he does not remain by himself all the time."

Benjamin nodded. He hoped he could fulfill her wishes. "Yes, Your Highness. I will do my best."

"Thank you, Benjamin," she said. She was visibly calmer now, but she didn't seem like she's in a peaceful position now. "I feel that I will not see you on this trip anymore, so I must say farewell here."

"Of course, Your Highness. Farewell and have a safe trip," he said. He felt sympathy for her. Benjamin was approaching his thirties, and he didn't have to go through as many hardships as Princess Jane had, who was only twenty-three of age.

Once she had left, Benjamin felt the heaviness of the responsibility that was given to him. What the princess had said was an obvious part of the job, but her words put importance in it. Like she said, he didn't have to do it. He could leave this job whenever he wanted, and he knew that, but for some reason, he felt like he needed to try for the princess. He _wanted_ to try for the princess.

Truly, he did not see her when she left. All he saw was what had happened following her departure. Benjamin had gone to the king's room to give him medicine. When he had entered the room, the king didn't seem as happy anymore – not as if he showed happiness, but Benjamin wasn't blind. He could tell the difference between the king when his sister was here and when she wasn't. At the moment, he was looking at the empty surface of his dresser. "Your Majesty, I've brought your medic-"

"I don't want it," he cut him off. "I'll be sick. Let's see who cares."

He was scared and confused all of a sudden because he was just instructed to give the king some medicine, but he didn't want to accept it. He didn't know if his health was a priority or if his word was. Benjamin swallowed his pride and said, "But Your Majesty, I was told you need it."

The king looked at him with the sharpest look he had ever witnessed. "I am your king, and I told you I will not have it. Do you think your words are more powerful than mine?"

If the king was a normal man like any other, Benjamin would have metaphorically stepped on him like the pest he was. But this was the king. He couldn't do that no matter how much he despised him. "No. I was only trying to do my job. I will not give you the medicine since you command it."

"Good. You are dismissed now, but before you go, this is my warning to you. If you speak to me like that again, there will be consequences, Thief."

Benjamin wished he could beat the king to see how it felt. "Understood," he said in a low voice, then left. He did not want to see the king again. He knew he would, though, for at least two more time since he had to serve the meals. Who knew what else the king wanted him for?

He'd gone back to the servants' room. He was aware how angry he looked, but he didn't care.

* * *

Benjamin didn't just serve the king personally, which was a good thing. Yes, he had many more tasks he needed to do now, but as long as he didn't see the king while he worked, he was happy. He was also starting to learn how to do his job properly at the castle, which was a bit hard for him for now, but he knew that in a few days, this will all be trivial to him.

Meanwhile, the king did his duties. Of course, Benjamin was not there when the king was doing whatever a king did, but he'd hear things when he'd pass by the throne room. Even though it didn't appear like the king cared for his people as he acted ice cold in front of them, he surprisingly was strict when it came to the kingdom's safety. Benjamin did notice, now that he thought of it, how much safer the people were from external threats. Of course, their biggest threat at the moment was the king himself, but outside threats weren't a problem to them as much as they used to be. The king was good at agreeing on deals with other royalty and noblemen, and he was good at making sure he had the best guards and knights. Even though Benjamin himself had stolen many times, the crimes in this kingdom weren't as they used to be before. Their only other big problem was poverty.

After the king's afternoon meal, Benjamin was called by the maid again. "Benjamin, the king wants you."

"What for?" he asked, not knowing what to expect.

"I am not sure exactly, but I am aware he is going to ride on his horse later today. Perhaps he'll hunt as well. Or he'll practice with his bow and arrow. You shall go and see for yourself," she said. He agreed, then he was escorted to where the king was.

The king was outside the castle. He wasn't on the side that was in front of the kingdom where people could see him. He was on the other side where there were trees, there was more grass, and there was a river. It was perfect for a king to spend him time here.

The maid was right about something – the king was going to practice archery. However, it was to Benjamin's horror that the target was not fixed to an object. Instead, it was thrown on the side with its back exposed. It had a handle. It was a target that seemed like it was meant to be held by a person.

If Benjamin was the one who would be ordered to hold the target, he could handle himself well. Even though he was scared of the king for one reason or another, he was not afraid to fight for himself and to say no to him. He didn't care for the consequences no matter how the king threatened him, and no matter how much his grandmother would disapprove. But it wasn't Benjamin who was going to hold the target. It was another man who took it, maybe a servant as well. Benjamin couldn't tell. It didn't matter to him. This was a human and Benjamin empathized with him. Even if he wasn't a human, he would still empathize. He had a heart for animals and _even_ wild beasts. But not monsters such as the king.

In the king's hands were a bow and arrow. He had turned back to see Benjamin coming. "You finally came," said the king. "Here. Take this." He had given him the quiver which had his arrows.

_Couldn't he just strap it on his back? Like a normal person?_ Benjamin thought. _Why did he need me for this? I don't want to participate._

The man had positioned himself away from the king so that he was in front of the river. The target was facing the king a good distance away, but it was too close to the river. The man might even fall. Benjamin could see the target shaking a little. The man was scared. Benjamin would be, too, no matter how much he'd heard the king was good at archery.

"Be steady," the king said, aiming the arrow towards the target. "Unless you want the arrow to go through you."

_Stop_, Benjamin thought. He wanted to speak very badly, but he was frozen in his spot.

The king shot the first arrow, and it landed almost at the center. He _was_ good at archery, but that still wouldn't make the situation any better. Benjamin turned his head sideways now. He didn't want to look at the scene anymore. If he looked away, he wouldn't speak against the king. That was a good way to avoid angering him.

Benjamin saw a hand come to take an arrow, then he heard a breathy laugh. "Are you scared, Thief?" he asked. "Don't be scared. In fact, I demand you to look."

Benjamin _did_ look, but he looked at the king, not the man. He had had enough of this nonsense. He wanted to speak up. "I will not. I cannot stay here if you force me to look."

"You must obey me," King Ethan said.

"I must but I will not," Benjamin said.

"You dare go against me?" the king said.

Benjamin had one hand in a fist out of anger. How dare the king have no heart? "The man is scared. And for good reasons." His voice was higher than he had intended for it to be. Still, he didn't care. "Have you no mercy?"

The king was calm with his body and face, but his raised voice was an indication of his impatience. "He did not protest, did he?"

"Of course, he won't. You wouldn't give him a choice," said Benjamin. He might as well be dead now because the king seemed like he wanted to kill him.

"If you're so adamant on defending him, then you stand behind the target," the king said.

"No, Your Majesty," said the man. "I will stand here if you wish so."

"This thief doesn't. He thinks he has power in my castle. I will show him who really does," he said.

"Fine. I will stand behind the target," he said. He came up to the man and took the target from his hand. It was a bit heavier than he thought it would be.

The man whispered to him, "Are you mad? He will have your head off."

"I am," Benjamin whispered back. Then the man left.

It was intimidating being in this position. The river roaring behind him, the king standing in front of him with his arrow. It wasn't a nice place to be in. Well, since he's already angered the king, he had nothing else to fear. "I've stood behind the target," he said. Isn't that what the king demanded? His job was done, then.

The target was light enough for him to move it easily. Remaining his eye contact with the king, he threw the target into the river. His could hear his blood pumping violently in his ears. He may have stepped over the line, but he didn't care. This condescending king would not have the satisfaction of humiliating Benjamin.

He walked away without even being dismissed. Before that, he saw the face of shock and anger on the king. As he walked, he could hear the king cursing at him. It did not matter to him. If he died, at least it wouldn't be because of theft or treason. It would be because he was helping someone.

* * *

Benjamin had gone back to the castle even though he didn't want to. The moment the news reached the maid, Benjamin was being yelled at. He knew he shouldn't be going against the king, but at least the maid yelling at him was better than the king. Her words had weight to them. The king only spoke nonsense.

"I will not hear of this again, Benjamin," the maid said. "And neither does the king want someone to _throw his target into the river_. What were you thinking?" She sounded like his grandmother at the moment. Even though Benjamin felt the urgency to defend himself, he knew this would make matters worse. "The king wants an apology."

Benjamin almost laughed. The king wanted an apology? He should've demanded one the moment Benjamin had thrown the target away since his words were so powerful. "All right," he said even though he did not want to see the king for the second time today.

When he had gone to see the king in his room, he pacing around until Benjamin opened the door. "I did not know you were a crazy man or else I wouldn't have let my sister be merciful to you." He sat down on a chair by his small, round table. "Do you wish to be dead? Or do you want to apologize?" he asked.

"If you want me dead, then kill me," _just as you've killed my parents_, "because I am not apologizing. It does not matter to me if you are the king of this kingdom. You should not treat your people like this. And you wonder why people hate you?" He was crossing the line again. "Why shouldn't people hate you?"

Surprisingly the king did not yell at him again. "And do _you_ hate me, Benjamin?" he asked. It was also odd that he did not refer to him as a thief.

_I didn't yesterday. I do now. Altogether, I don't know anymore._ He would rather not say that.

"I will assume that means _yes_," he said. Somehow, it felt like this hurt the king more than anything Benjamin had done. The arguing in the morning didn't have as much of an impact. The target did not have much of an impact. Why did the king sound like this like this assumption of a _yes_ meant more to him? "I understand. You may leave today."

"Leave today?" he asked, confused. He did not know whether the king didn't want him for the rest of the day or forever.

"Yes," the king said. That did not help. Following the king's orders for once, he left the castle.

* * *

Again, Benjamin's grandmother was not happy with his decisions. He did not fail to disappoint her, did he? He also disappointed himself at the end of the day, but he didn't know what else to say. He did what he thought was right at the moment. Even now, he wouldn't do anything differently.

The next day, he did not go to the castle. He remembered what Princess Jane said. He shouldn't leave the king's side. But he didn't have many choices. Either he went to the castle and risk the king not wanting him to be there anymore, or he could continue his previous job that didn't give food or as much money. He chose the latter as it didn't have the risk of seeing King Ethan's wrath.

He had gone to the man who had let him work before. Or rather, he had gone to the place he used to work at before. The man was not there this early in the morning. Benjamin even forgot about that. So, he sat down, waiting for him to arrive.

He could hear the birds, he could see the sun shining brightly. Perhaps this life wouldn't be so bad. He wouldn't have food or money like he used to, but he wouldn't directly suffer from the king every day.

From the distance, he could hear a sound he didn't usually hear in this place. The sound of hooves. Was there someone riding on a horse here? Why would anyone do so? No one in their area had enough money to buy a horse, let alone ride one.

In between the small crowd that was gathered in their poor area, Benjamin saw a man on a horse coming towards him. He thought the man would pass him, but he didn't. He stopped in front of Benjamin.

"Benjamin?" the man asked. His hair was as yellow as the sun. His clothes were of fine quality.

"Yes?" he asked.

"I was told by the people that you might be here. I would like to introduce myself. My name is Lord Rory. I told the king I'll bring you to him. I know this area well," he said, smiling proudly at himself. How could he be associated with the king when he seemed so much more happier and nicer?

"But why would the king want me to be brought back?" he asked. Was this Benjamin's end? Will he die now? Was he finally going to see his parents again?

"He did not tell me the details. He only said he wanted you in the castle," the lord said. That still did not help Benjamin. "I can tell you are afraid. You don't mask your fear well, do you? I can assure you the king never sends me for fearsome news. Now, come with me."

And so, he came along. If Lord Rory was never sent for fearsome news then why did the king send him? Did he still want Benjamin to work in the castle? But he wouldn't send a _lord_ to Benjamin just for that. Maybe a guard would do, but why a nobleman?

They soon arrived at the castle and already Lord Rory was greeted with more cheer than anyone in this castle, except for Princess Jane, maybe. Lord Rory walked through the castle, looking for the king before he realized he didn't know where exactly to go. They saw a guard, who said the king was in castle's garden. The garden was close to where the king wanted to practice archery, but it wasn't exactly there.

"Shouldn't we go from here?" Benjamin suggested, pointing at a hallway.

Rory looked at it, then followed with a few seconds of silence. "No. It's dusty and it scares me."

"Scares you? Why?" Benjamin asked.

"You've walked through this castle?" Lord Rory asked. Benjamin nodded in response. "But you haven't walked here?"

"No, the maid never walks through there," he said, wondering to himself as to why that was.

"Well, the king doesn't walk there, either. No one wants to." Why wouldn't the king walk there? Benjamin had so many questions regarding King Ethan.

The two men walked to the garden where the king was sitting. Today, he did not look angry. He did not look hurt. He did not look sad. He looked somewhat neutral. Actually, he looked like he was pondering amongst the beauty of the castle for once.

"Thank you, Lord Rory, for bringing him here. Though, you took a bit longer than I thought," he said.

"Yes, I got lost in the castle even though I've been here countless times," the lord said, laughing.

"That sounds like something you'd do. Very well. If you have any other matters to tend to, go ahead," the king said. He was very polite now, something Benjamin rarely saw these days.

"Yes, I do. Have a good day, Your Majesty," he said, walking away.

"I told you, do not call me that," the king said.

"I will call you whatever I want, Your Majesty," Lord Rory yelled at the king. He seemed to lighten the air in this dark and terrifying castle.

Lord Rory was no longer in the garden within a few seconds, and it was just the king and Benjamin together.

"Where have you gone, Benjamin?" he asked. "I thought you would be back today."

Benjamin did not want to answer, but he couldn't afford not to. He couldn't afford anything, actually. "I thought you did not want me here in the castle."

"Of course I do!" the king exclaimed. That came out a bit louder than Benjamin had expected. And louder than the king seemed to have expected as the king cleared his throat and pretended to divert his attention for a bit.

"Why?" he asked, genuinely surprised.

The king sat on a big piece of stone that was carved to make the seat that it was now. Benjamin could tell the impressive handwork that went into this. But that didn't matter because the king motioned for Benjamin to sit beside him. The king wanted a poor servant to sit beside him? In this expensive seat? Odd. He did so, anyway. He didn't want the king angry today. He didn't seem like he wanted Benjamin here just to be angry. There was another motive. Benjamin could tell.

At first, the king looked at the beautiful plants that were welting in the garden. "Benjamin, I want you to answer me, and I want you to answer honestly," he said, looking at Benjamin now. If Benjamin was asked seven years ago what he would think if he sat here in this beautiful garden by Prince Ethan, he would say he would have wanted a kiss from the prince. Now he wanted Prince Ethan back. He didn't want King Ethan anymore. "Am I a good man?"

The question made Benjamin think twice. He did not expect the king to ask that question. If anything, he didn't seem to care for such things. He thought about the answer carefully. Was this a trick? Well, it didn't seem like one. "I believe you could be, but you don't act like one."

"I did not ask what you believe, or how I act," he said.

How was he supposed to answer? He did not know the king well enough to see if he was a good man. From what Benjamin had seen, he seemed like he had goodness inside him, but he didn't use that. He'd decided to be a bad king. Does that indicate anything about how good of a man he was? He wasn't sure. "I'm afraid I don't know the answer. If you ask what I think, I would tell you _maybe_, but definitively? I don't know." Was he a good man? "Only you know the answer to that. May I ask you the same question?" he asked. "Are you a good man?"

The king took in a deep breath. "No." He let his shoulders sink. "I am not a good man, Benjamin. I haven't seen anything any goodness from me lately."

It somehow felt relieving, even to Benjamin. Did he just admit it? Finally, after six years, did he admit it?

"I think that's why I called you here. I need your help. I never ask for help. But this time, I am desperate," he said. "I know you are not a perfect man, but I believe you can help me become better. You are the only one who dared to face me and convince me how … how _horrible _I am as a king. I _need _to become better." He never sounded so sincere to Benjamin. "Would you be willing to help, Benjamin?"

He didn't even hesitate. He nodded. "Of course, Your Majesty. I don't know exactly how I'll help you, but I'll try," he said.

"I will tell you how you can help," he said. "Go against me when you feel I'm wrong." It felt odd. No one went against the king _on his own order_, but he guessed he felt special now. He was going to help the king be a good man – be a good king.

"As you wish," he said. "Does this mean I will still be your servant?"

"Yes," said the king. "It will be better. If you are my personal servant, you would still be provided the necessities you need, and it wouldn't be strange for you to stand beside me most times."

"I will do my best," he said.

"I also will," said the king. "I suppose I should start by treating you better. That does not mean I will be naïve. You are still my servant, and you shall act like you are."

"I understand that," said Benjamin. He didn't expect any less.

The king stood up. "I shall go now. I have much to do." He eyed Benjamin up and down. "You go change now. I cannot have my servant walking around with these clothes. What would my sister say about me?"

Benjamin wanted to chuckle, but he held the urge in. Instead, he settled for a small smile, then he stood up. But first, he knew he needed to wait for the king to leave first. As he walked away, Benjamin noticed something that truly bothered him.

* * *

The king's body had always been weak. But during his supper, during this morning's breakfast, he didn't have an appetite. He shouldn't be doing this to himself. He knew that. He should eat more. But his body did not want to cooperate. Even if he ate something, his body wouldn't want it. He could even feel his body sweating, then shivering, then sweating again.

He took a step away from the garden, then another, then another. He tried to mask his weakness, but he knew he was bad at it.

"Your Majesty, you look like you might fall," said Benjamin from behind him. "If you need assistance, you may tell me. That _is_ what I'm here for."

Why would he want to help Ethan? Why would he even care? He knew now Benjamin had an additional responsibility, but that didn't necessarily mean he needed to _care_ for the king. "It's fine, Benjamin," he said. "I can walk on my own." He couldn't. Not for long. Why was he pushing Benjamin away? Why was he still doing the thing he'd set out to destroy?

"Your Majesty, you brought me here to go against you if I feel you're wrong. And now, frankly, you seem like you are. You need help and you refuse it," he said.

He was right. The king should get more help. That wasn't necessarily going to make the king instantly change. He would probably still revert back to his old habits, but he was learning. "Fine. If you want to help, then take me somewhere I can sit inside. I'm afraid I hadn't eaten well."

Benjamin was quick to help him get to the nearest seat in the castle – which happened to be at the dining hall. Shortly after, he went to get the king some food to eat. This left Ethan alone with his thoughts.

He looked at the long, empty table. At the head of it was the king. The lonely, cruel king. He hated the dining hall. Hated sitting there alone. There was a reason he preferred eating in his room when he didn't have anyone in the castle to eat with – which was most of the time.

Throughout the castle, he could see the ghosts of his past. Not actual ghosts. Good God, would that scare him. No, this was his imagination – his memories, actually.

He would see his father walking with him sometimes, as they usually did when he was alive. He would see his mother walking with his princess in the hallways. These were very usual encounters he used to have six years ago. No one was there anymore.

Worst of all was the dining hall. This was where everyone would sit and eat. They would be five or six people normally seated here, depending on whether Jane was in the kingdom or not. His father would sit where he was right now – at the head of the table. His mother would be on his father's right. Even though she disliked it when chairs were separated unevenly, she would still move hers closer to the king so she could be near him. Ethan would sit on his father's left with Princess Sarah beside him. Whispering to him then chatting with the queen. She'd hold their son in her arms and feed him his own food. Once he had almost finished his first year, he started getting curious with other food. He'd sit on the table and bite on anything that he found interesting before his mother would realize what he was doing.

The castle was full of life before. Now even the people who wanted to be around him – he pushed them away. Like Lord Rory. He would request to join him sometimes as a kind gesture, but Ethan would refuse. It wasn't that he didn't want Rory to join him. It wasn't that he didn't trust him. It _was_ that he was triggered by mistrust. His family trusted a man who ended up killing them all, and only leaving Ethan alive purposefully to make him suffer. _'Why?'_ he used to ask himself. _'What did I do to deserve this?'_ He genuinely didn't have bad intentions before the incident. He was trying to be kind, fair, loving. But he figured out why later. After he had changed – after he thought that caring meant he was weak.

It wasn't him – he wasn't the problem at first. It was Jesse himself – the one who killed his family. It was lust and desire for the princess that made him lose his mind. Now, Ethan was the one who lost his mind. It was already too late for him to change back. He was used to being this way.

Yesterday, he felt like he woke up. One thought led to another, and suddenly, he felt like he had the key to being a good man again. If he felt like he couldn't change himself, someone else who cared enough might help. Benjamin – a man who was so stupid, he was willing to speak against the king and throw his target in the river. If Benjamin could help him, Jane might return. If Benjamin could help him, he could be fair to his people again. They might not hate him anymore. Benjamin might not hate him anymore.

He saw the brunet walk towards him with a tray of messily put-together food. He first poured Ethan a cup of water, then put the food as best as he could in front of him.

Benjamin – a man who wasn't only stupid. He was a man who was brave. This kingdom needed brave people. There was something to be admired about this man. "Thank you, Benjamin," he said. Benjamin's green eyes were wide as they fixed on the king for a few seconds. He did not expect the king to thank him, did he? Ethan laughed and said, "I told you, I am trying."

Benjamin gave a nod. "I appreciate that, Your Majesty."

He didn't know what felt better – to feel like someone was having faith in you, or to feel like you have faith in yourself. If he was debating with himself what feeling was better, then definitely today is better than yesterday.

* * *

**We are getting somewhere, my dudes!**

**This chapter took a different turn than I expected, but I am very happy with the outcome. Still, I'm enjoying this story. Surprisingly very fun to write.**

**That's it for today. Hope you guys enjoyed the story. Leave a review if you did. Really helps out.**

**Until next time!**


	3. Better Change

**Yo! How you guys doing?**

**I am oddly really loving writing this story. Not oddly, actually, more like I love writing it more than I'd expected. Hope you guys like the medieval setting plus my different writing style here.**

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"Benjamin!" he heard the king's voice. Two days ago, if he'd heard that voice, he would've been filled with dread and anger. However, since yesterday's talk at the castle gardens, Benjamin found himself pitying Ethan. Even though he understood King Ethan more now, he couldn't spend his time thinking about how sad his life was in the castle. He was still a scary man. Even now, his voice was demanding and loud like it always had been.

Benjamin had tried to help the king the previous day with simple situations. He seemed like he was trying to improve, yet he still struggled. That was to be expected. He's been used to demanding fear from his people. It would be hard to destroy this way of life. But Benjamin had to try.

He stood to meet King Ethan. He had been sitting and conversing with the other men his age who worked in the castle just now. They'd also stood up with him to greet the king, but as soon as they did, the left. "Yes, Your Majesty?" he asked.

"Come with me. I will be training with the knights." He'd started walking not even waiting for Benjamin to respond. Benjamin merely tried to follow him. "It would be better if you accompanied me for the rest of the day. You could observe my behavior." He didn't say anything cruel or harsh, yet he sounded like his usual cruel self. Benjamin decided not to say anything. He wasn't acting wrong. Even with there being nothing to indicate Benjamin was unhappy with the tone, it seemed that the king understood Benjamin's silence.

"Did I say something wrong?" he asked, still looking forward instead of at Benjamin.

"No."

"Did I do anything unpleasant?" he rephrased.

Benjamin hesitated. He didn't want to tell the king how he didn't like his tone of speech. This _was_ a king. But he had to say something if the king wanted answers. "You didn't say anything wrong, but you did sound…" he struggled for words, "unkind."

"Unkind?" he asked.

"Yes," Benjamin replied. "I believe that you should have a strong voice as a king, but you could be gentler in certain situations."

"Very well," King Ethan said. "But Benjamin," he stopped walking and looked him in the eyes, "do not be afraid of telling me what's troubling you. I did not ask you to be silent yesterday, did I?"

He nodded. "No, of course not. I thought perhaps you would grow tired of me speaking about your behavior."

"This is nonsense. You should tell me what bothers you from now. I do not want to be a mad king, and this starts by mutual trust, don't you think?" he asked. Benjamin nodded. "Now, let us go see the knights."

Benjamin smiled to himself. He's always wanted to see the knights as they practiced with their swords. He's admired them for most of his life, and he now had the chance to be around them. He was thrilled even though he's only observed their exceptional skills without knowing much else about them. If there was one thing King Ethan excelled at doing, it was at bringing the best men to protect this kingdom from enemies. These knights were the best he could find. Besides that, he found knights … attractive. Not only in the way they walk and talk, but in their bravery. Especially in their body. He knew, however, that most of them liked women. The ones who did like men would never look at a poor man like him. He knew the higher classes sometimes had a distaste for the lower ones. It wasn't as if he had a choice. If he did, he'd wish to be rich.

Ethan turned to Benjamin for a moment. "You seem awfully happy. Why? Do you like to see knights sparring?"

He wasn't sure how to answer. No? Yes? Neither of these answers were true. "I would not say that. I do like to see men being brave. Knights especially."

"Yes, they are admirable," Ethan agreed. "Benjamin, do you- no, I should not ask this now." Benjamin wanted to know the question, but he knew better than to press a king about a question he didn't want to ask.

They had started to approach a yard by the castle. Even from where Benjamin was, he could see a few men swinging their swords at each other. He would finally get the chance to watch the knights train from within the castle in their own privacy. He'd never had an interest in being a knight or behaving like one, but he still enjoyed listening about them and seeing them fight with courage.

"Your Majesty," one of the men said. "I hope you are doing well."

"Sir David," said the king. "I am. I hope I can be a worthy opponent today."

"You are always a worthy opponent. You defeat me more than I do you," he said. Benjamin has never heard Sir David, The Wolf, speak, as he mostly was fighting. He had a certain friendliness to his voice despite his intimidating body. However, he still seemed to be careful around King Ethan. Everyone was, perhaps except for Lord Rory. Still, David was not known for his cleverness but rather his strength. Therefore, it was not familiar to Benjamin to see him trying to choose his words carefully. Well, he shouldn't be surprised, in reality. David was a loyal man, maybe the most loyal out of the knights. That was one of the qualities that led to him being called "The Wolf", among many fearsome and brave stories. It was no wonder he wanted to be nice to the king.

"Is this a squire?" he asked King Ethan.

Ethan briefly looked at Benjamin before speaking to the knight in front of him. "No, he is not a squire. He is a servant of mine."

"He is a new face in this castle," he said.

Benjamin felt like he should speak. Would Ethan not like it if he did? It didn't matter to him. If he was brave enough the other day to throw the king's target in the water, he sure was brave enough to talk to Sir David. "I am new to the castle. It is my pleasure to speak to you, Sir David." That instantly brought a smile to David's face.

"What is your name?"

"Benjamin," he answered. He could see some knights staring at him, mostly in a mocking way. He had expected that. Some did not seem to care, which he much preferred. Only two or three, not including Sir David, seemed kind and friendly even to him.

"Well, Benjamin. Perhaps I will be seeing you more if you are around the king."

"Perhaps." He could see Ethan looking between the two of them before interrupting so he could spar with David. Benjamin didn't know what he should conclude from that. Maybe Ethan was impatient and he wanted to start. Maybe he didn't want the conversation to continue. If Benjamin could find out what the king was thinking …

Ethan went to greet the rest of the knights before beginning. He'd grabbed a sword and started sparring with David. Benjamin didn't know much about sword fighting, but he knew the difference between both of Ethan's and David's fighting.

King Ethan had the elegance of his father's fighting. He didn't use strength. He wasn't as big as David or as tough. He used his cleverness to fight. He would dodge easily with his smaller body. He seemed to be quick on his feet, too. And it felt like a song when he was fighting. There was a rhythm as he moved, as he went from being defensive to offensive, as he never lost his balance or let his opponent be a step ahead of him. Benjamin had always known King Ethan was smart. He's heard of his accomplishments, victorious strategies, and successful alliances. Still, witnessing his cleverness was different.

Sir David was a different story. He, as Benjamin expected, used his physical strength. Not only that, but he was a master with swords. He knew how to swing them like nothing Benjamin had seen before. At the beginning, Benjamin thought Sir David would win. King Ethan wasn't attacking as much as David was, but at the end, Ethan had managed to trick David somehow and put his sword pointed at his chest, but far away enough that it wouldn't strike him on accident.

David had smiled despite his defeat. They had fought once more where David won with his sheer strength before Benjamin notice unexpectedly that both men were looking at him.

"You seem to be enjoying this," David said. "You're smiling."

Was he? He didn't notice. He was focused on the fights more than he was on his expression. "Of course I'm enjoying this. I haven't seen such sword fighting skills before."

"You should come to the annual tournaments, then," suggested King Ethan. "They are much more entertaining."

He came to the tournaments, but not each year. In fact, most years, he didn't attend because he had worse matters to take care of. "I shall."

"Have you ever held a sword before?" asked David.

He's held a knife before – a knife meant to kill the king, but he didn't want to hold it. Not now that he started to pity King Ethan. But swords? He's only ever seen them. "No," he admitted.

"Maybe you would like to learn how to," David suggested. He turned to Ethan. "If His Majesty permits."

He didn't give an immediate answer. His look that was made of unyielding iron bore into David for a few seconds before answering. "Yes, of course." He swallowed. "But only use wooden swords. I do not want my servant dead."

David laughed. "Of course not. I wouldn't dream to displease you."

Without another word, King Ethan motioned Benjamin with a finger to follow him. He was led to a corner near the castle where weapons and shields were laid. Most were real weapons – swords, spears, axes, maces and others too. However, some weapons were wooden. Ethan took two wooden swords and gave one to Benjamin.

"Are you nervous?" he asked Benjamin, an eyebrow raised. It almost looked curious.

There was only one answer on Benjamin's mind. He couldn't even lie because it would sound strange to him if he'd said no. "Yes. Of course. He's 'The Wolf'."

Ethan let out a breath through his nose. Was he laughing? His lips weren't curling up. He didn't show any sign of laughing, but his reaction showed that he was slightly amused. "That is only a name the people of this kingdom call him. You have nothing to fear from him. He is a man who does not hide his strength Besides, he will not spar with you the way he does with me. I can assure you that."

Benjamin knew most of the king's words before but they calmed him a bit.

"Have fun. Do not worry about Sir David. He will find a way to make you laugh. That is all he likes to do, even with the other knights." He started walking and Benjamin walked behind. "Perhaps one day I will spar with you, too, if you'd like. Not today, but maybe soon."

_If you'd like_. Benjamin was proud that King Ethan was learning to be kinder. He was a different man than he was when Benjamin arrived first in the castle. "It would be an honor." And he meant it.

And so, Benjamin went to practice with Sir David. It didn't help that the rest of the knights and the king had stopped to watch. Still, David managed to make Benjamin feel less shy around these men, even the ones who did not seem like they would be kind to him.

The practice was not so much a spar, but it was rather a lesson for Benjamin on how to use a sword. He would demonstrate at first, then he would let Benjamin try what he'd just shown. He would come to Benjamin every so often to help him do the appropriate stances by moving Benjamin's arms or simply to put his hand on Benjamin's shoulders sometimes. When that would happen, he could see the king out of the corner of his eyes looking away. It was strange for Benjamin, but he didn't think of it too much.

By the end of the practice, Benjamin felt as if he wanted to swing the sword more. He didn't know he'd love swords this much, but his gratitude was to David because he did. He'd wished he could spar with David to see how strong he truly was, which Benjamin had no doubt he'd come out bruised from. It was no surprise he needed to learn how to use a sword first. Sparring would be hard since he still had no clue on how to properly fight with a sword.

* * *

This new life that Ethan was trying to live was not as easy as he'd thought. Once before, when he was a prince, he'd thought of himself as a sympathetic person. He'd believed that once he became a king, he would remain a loving and caring man like he used to be. He remembered that he used to know about the common people's days, their names, their faces. He _cared_. And it felt nice to care because he felt as if he loved the people and they loved him back. Where had that Ethan gone? Perhaps he was still within him, but he couldn't tear his way out of his now-hardened shell.

Whatever happened to that Ethan, it felt a bit late to try and get him back. What he'd thought would be his only option as a king was no longer there. It was replaced with a man who'd seen his mother bleeding in front of him, his father slowly dying, and his wife and son slaughtered before him. That was what he'd always thought of as he ruled. His family dying.

But that was no longer true. He felt himself slip away from the past as he focused on … Benjamin of all people. The way he smiled when he didn't think the king was nearby, the way he defended himself when faced with possible death, the way he seemed to want the good for Ethan despite him being treated horribly. He was a breath of fresh air. Even though Ethan could not stand him at first, he's grown to enjoy being around Benjamin now, even if he didn't show it.

"Is the room clean?" he asked Benjamin, who looked startled by the sudden appearance of Ethan by the door. He calmed down shortly.

"Yes, I made sure of it," he said. "When is Lady Erica coming?"

"Now," he replied. "You will remain in this room with me, too. I have most trouble here."

Benjamin nodded.

Soon enough, Lady Erica was brought to the room to see him. He had been sitting by a table as he waited for her. This was the place Ethan preferred to have private conversations. Now, they weren't very private since Benjamin was here, but today, he was informed the matters to be discussed were known to the public. Lady Erica just wanted to discuss them with the king. She wanted answers and she wanted him to see things the way she did. Normally, that would not be successful. He was stubborn. Today, he would try to listen to her thoroughly.

"Your Majesty," she said as she walked in, her confidence never leaving even when she spoke to Ethan. Although, he'd heard she was different around him. She was not afraid of him, but as was everyone else, she was aware around him and she chose her words carefully. Ethan had to admit he admired her.

"Lady Erica," he greeted her back. "Come sit down."

She did as he asked with her usual elegance. Her dark green dress was grabbing the attention on her despite it being it being the normal style she wore. She presented herself with pride. Perhaps that was why she looked beautiful and powerful. "May I ask something?" She did not wait for him to answer. "Why did you request we have a…" she looked to the side where Benjamin was, "guest?"

"Because I want him there," he said. He didn't feel like explaining himself, especially to her. She was an unyielding lady and nothing would convince her, so he tended to use a strong tone when she would talk to him.

He noticed Benjamin visibly grit his teeth. He didn't like that, did he? Ethan didn't want to treat Erica any differently, but he realized how harsh he sounded just now. He needed to be firm, but he couldn't treat everyone badly.

He'd opened his mouth to talk, but Lady Erica was already speaking about a different topic. "It doesn't matter now. What _does_ matter is what your people are going through. And this is why I came to speak to you. It's the fever."

"I heard," he said. "But I was not sure of the news."

"You can be sure now. I've witnessed the villagers get sick. But even worse, some are dying because of it."

Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed Benjamin look down. Did he know people who were sick? Was this a matter that was personal to him? "Benjamin," he called him. "Do you know anything about the fever?"

Benjamin appeared in shock. Ethan didn't blame him. He himself was surprised that he'd asked for another's view on the matter. "I-I do." He looked between Ethan and Lady Erica. Was he nervous? He was never nervous around Ethan. It was Lady Erica that he was nervous in front of. Did he … like her? Well, it didn't matter. She was married to Lord Rory. "One of my grandmother's friends is sick. She has been for days."

"I do not understand," Ethan said, mostly to himself. "I thought we had medicine. How is it back?"

"The medicine is still available, Your Majesty," Benjamin said. "But we cannot afford it. W – the people in less fortunate areas – we do not earn enough to buy even food. Medicine is far beyond our reach."

"That is why I am here," Lady Erica said. "I cannot stand to see you be an incompetent king while the people suffer. Something needs to be done."

Normally, he would get mad at Lady Erica for making such a remark towards his job as a king. But he knew he needed to control his temper. And she was right. He was incompetent and he didn't want to be anymore. "What can be done?"

She stared at him for a few seconds. Ethan didn't know what to make of it. "We can start with the merchants. They're the reason people cannot buy the medicine. Their greed is going to cost people's lives."

"How did you know the merchants were the problem?" He was curious. There could be a number of things that led to this issue.

"I do not know if they are the sole problem. I do know that they are _one_ of the problems. Rory's informed me yesterday about their high prices. And I know you trust him the most. You can ask him if you have no trust in me," she said.

"No," he decided. "I will not ask him."

She narrowed her eyes at him. "There is something different about you. I do not know if it is a game or if it is truly a change in you. Whatever it may be, I suspect it is because there are eyes on you now."

He leaned forward. He knew she wanted to intimidate him. She wanted him to realize how smart she was. And yes, she was smart, but he was too. "And what if that is the reason? Would you like to have an irrational king ruling without any eyes on him? Or one who has control but chooses to have his servant around?"

She smiled, perhaps amused, perhaps smug. "I would rather have a king that doesn't isolate himself. Even though you've trusted my husband ever since you were children, you've been pushing him away. That does not stop him from coming to see you. He is a stubborn man. This seems to be the only time I see you with a person around. I do not want to see this kingdom fall because you would rather no one speak to you. If it takes a servant to have you speak, I will welcome it, but you are not yourself. You haven't been for seven years. Princess Sarah did not die for this. Your father did not die for this. No one did."

He did not expect her to say that. Her words stung him, but perhaps this was what he needed. He hadn't heard Sarah's name in a while. He hadn't had anyone mention his dead family in this castle since they were gone. The place felt emptier now than it had before. He remembered them, but he had denied the fact that anyone else was affected by their death, too. Lady Erica was the closest woman to Sarah. He hadn't thought of that. He hadn't thought of anyone but himself.

"I do not know why I said that," she said, putting a hand on her mouth. She did not seem that sorry, but she seemed for regretful. "My apologies."

"No," he said, shaking his head. "Do not apologize. I appreciate your honesty."

She sighed. "I do not like speaking in that manner to you. I was merely frustrated. My anger towards what is happening in the kingdom is strong. But I still feel as if you can be a better king than you are now. That I will not apologize for, even if you decide to have me dead one day. And it doesn't matter because as long as you do something, with me or without me, things for you, me, and your people will be much easier. But trust me, I can help you far greater than you think."

He did not allow himself to react with his face or body after she'd spoken. It was mostly because he wanted to smile out of amusement. Amusement because she never showed how much she cared for Ethan and the way he ruled. But he's long forgotten how to smile. And even if he wanted to, he wouldn't allow himself. Something inside him may have changed, but he was not fully prepared to be open to people. Besides, he would rather they take him seriously. And what better way than to be serious?

* * *

At the end of the day, Benjamin was making sure all the food the king needed was on the tray. It wasn't as if the king would eat all of the food. By the end of his meals, most of the food was untouched. It was no wonder he looked unhealthy. Still, it was required for him to make sure nothing was left to be desired, including bread, soup, meat, fruits, and many other options for the king to choose from.

"Is that all?" he heard a voice behind him. He immediately knew this was the maid who's been teaching him everything he knew so far about the castle.

"I believe so," he said.

"No, it isn't," she said.

What was missing? He didn't think there was anything that wasn't already on the tray. Every food he was given, he had put for the king.

"The medicine," she reminded.

"Oh," he said, his cheeks turning red. He should remember by now. "I apologize." He took some medicine and put it on the tray, hoping there wasn't anything missing.

"Benjamin," she said. "Son of the right hand."

He blinked. He didn't understand what she was saying or why she was saying it. "What do you mean?"

"That is your name. Benjamin. It means son of the right hand." He stood in silence, not knowing how to answer her. It was interesting information to him, but he didn't know what reaction he should have. "Come, now. The king is waiting."

"Of course," he said and followed her. By now, he would go to the king's room by himself, but it seemed as if the maid wanted to walk with him for a reason unknown to him.

"The king did not complain today, which is good. It means you are pleasing him," she said. It would be bad news for Benjamin if the king _did_ complain. Benjamin was only doing what the king was telling him to do mostly. And frankly, if anything, Benjamin didn't do much today. The king was ordering him to observe most times, which he did. The rest of the work was on the king himself. Before even Benjamin would speak to him about what he did wrong, he would fix his speech, his tone, his behavior. He was trying to be a good king and that was all Benjamin had wished for. "You have been around him _all_ day. Perhaps you do act as his right hand. Although that is a title given to noblemen, I still believe the king sees you as more important than a servant."

Again, he did not know how to reply. Instead, he let her speak again.

"And I sure hope you learned never to steal again or else the king will order you to clean the throne room. You've seen how big it is," she said.

He was sure she was joking. When the king was angry, he did not give punishments. He usually yelled at him. He didn't know how true that was now, though. "No, I would never steal again."

"Good. And now that we are approaching the king's chamber, I shall leave you to serve him yourself." With that, she walked away and Benjamin was left to stand in front of the king's chamber's doors.

He took a deep breath to prepare himself then he knocked. "Your Majesty, I am here with your supper."

It felt as if an eternity had passed before the king had answered him even though it was mere seconds. "You may come in."

He carefully opened the door, making sure that none of the contents on the tray were about to fall or spill. He wasn't the most balanced man in the kingdom.

The king was sitting on his usual chair again. Every time Benjamin had entered this chamber, King Ethan would be sitting in a somewhat stiff manner, his eyes sharply piercing into Benjamin's soul. Now, he was looking at the floor and his body was as if it was spilled on top of the chair rather than purposefully sat there. He looked … sad. His body and his face weren't sad. But it was a sad scene. Benjamin couldn't understand why that was.

His eyes shifted to Benjamin, which made him fix his position on the chair, but he did nothing further. Benjamin took that as his opportunity to put the food on the table and leave immediately. He knew he couldn't just leave without properly addressing the king with a question, but his body was telling him to flee.

After he put down the food, he asked the king, "Would you like anything else, Your Majesty?"

The king nodded his head, but it seemed almost unintentional, as if he wasn't aware that he was nodding. However, he was aware enough that he knew he meant _yes_. "I would like to ask you something." He closed his eyes as if regretting speaking.

"Of course," he said.

He didn't speak at first. Benjamin waited. And waited. And waited. "Do you believe that I can change?"

Benjamin swallowed. He did believe it, but it seemed as if King Ethan didn't. "May I ask _you_ something?" he asked.

"You may," he said.

"Do you want to change?" he asked.

"I do." The answer was quick, which comforted Benjamin. I was nice to see the king being sure of the answer. "I want to change. I want to be happy. I want the people to be happy. I want my sister to be happy, too. But it seems like an unreachable goal."

"Why would it be unreachable?" he asked.

"Because-" He stopped himself. He bit on his lower lip and shook his head. "Because it's hard. It isn't easy to change."

"Change is never easy, Your Majesty." He would know. He had gone from wanting to kill the king to enjoying being around him. Just today, he had let Benjamin learn how to use a wooden sword and he'd asked Benjamin on an important matter. "The fact that you want to change makes me believe that you are able to." The king nodded but he gave no further reaction. Benjamin felt like he should add something else, too. "Today I saw a different king than I did yesterday. Change may be hard, but it is happening."

"Yes," King Ethan agreed. "It is. You are changing as well, Benjamin." He was scared for a bit. Did the king know about his previous assassination attempt? How could he know? He didn't tell anyone. "You entered and I kept thinking you were a filthy thief. I've changed my mind on you. _You _are different. It does not mean that I will always be lenient with you, though. I must act as a king."

"I do not expect you to be lenient," he said, trying to hide his smile. It felt strange receiving a compliment from King Ethan. King Ethan who had killed his parents. King Ethan who now trusted Benjamin.

Indeed, Benjamin was changing. However, he did not know if he forgave the king yet.

The king had let Benjamin leave now. He had wanted to go to eat quickly until the king finished his food, but he was distracted by the hallway he had seen the other day. He had passed by the hallway, but he had never crossed it. He never needed to. But now his curiosity got the best of him. He wanted to know why only a few passed through it. He wanted to know why the king never did.

Before walking through it, he wanted to look carefully at it. Maybe there was something in there that was truly horrifying. It was colder there. It seemed like it was taken care of, but less so than other hallways, hence why Rory probably said it was filled with dust. But Benjamin never took King Ethan for a man who liked dusty hallways.

There was a door on the left wall in the middle of the hallway. In front of it, he could see the end of a table. But the table wasn't fully visible. Maybe because there was a part of the wall that wasn't straight – a part that went into the wall ever so slightly – and the table was hidden there.

Was it the hallway itself that King Ethan didn't like? Or was it the door? Or maybe the hidden table? He didn't know and he wanted to.

He walked into the hallway, his hands crossed over each other from the coldness of this place. This wasn't coldness from outside. No, that coldness was different. This one was more unsettling. It gave him horrible feelings in his stomach.

As he approached the door and the table opposite to it, he held in his breath. At first, he saw what was on the table. Two vases of flowers. One was bigger and the other smaller. They seemed new as if someone had recently put a flower here, or rather, these flowers were properly taken care of. Then he saw what was on the wall. A painting. And it wasn't any painting. It was one of Princess Sarah.

Benjamin didn't even know her that well and he missed her. She had only been in this kingdom for two years, yet she had brought joy to it on top of the one they already had. He had heard she was a strong woman, one who was capable of making any man fear her. Yet, she had an odd gentleness to her. Queen Samantha had loved her. Princess Jane considered her more than a sister. And she had made Ethan happy, too. It was a shame she was gone. She would have been a great queen.

He looked at the two flowers again. He understood why her picture was above the bigger flower. But what about the smaller one? Could it be for their son? If the castle was already sad enough, this was worse. Even Benjamin could not stand to see the picture of the princess. It was heartbreaking.

He could not stay and look at the picture and table anymore. He could not handle the castle. He could not handle the past that these walls held. And this was only after a few days of staying. No wondering King Ethan had turned the way he did. These walls were enough to make a man go crazy.

* * *

**That was where I wanted to end the chapter. Glad I even reached 5000 something words. Thought I'd never complete this.**

**Hope you guys liked this.**

**I would love to hear your guys' feedback.**

**Until next time!**


	4. Different King

**Hi, guys! This chapter is shorter than I'd like, but I feel like it's cute. So, I hope you guys like some fluff. Enjoy!**

* * *

It felt like no day in the castle was the same as the one before it, which Benjamin predicted to be the case for today, as well. He came to find out that he was not wrong.

The king did not summon Benjamin this time, but he was requested to bring breakfast to the dining table. So, did they have guests over? King Ethan usually ate in his chambers. This morning, either wanted to eat elsewhere or they had someone in the castle. Benjamin did not think that the king simply wanted to eat elsewhere. And when he brought some food with the other servants to the dining table, Benjamin found that he was right. King Ethan had company. But not any company. They were Lord Rory and Lady Erica.

Their chatter did not seem like that of friends, but rather of royalty and noblemen discussing serious matter. It was definitely strange seeing Lord Rory in such seriousness, but it wasn't unheard of. Once the food was there, Lord Rory diverted their conversation into a more casual one, preferring to enjoy his food first.

Before Benjamin had left the room, he was afraid the king would not eat. He was already slimmer than usual. Though, Benjamin was glad to see him grab a good amount of food. He left feeling content.

During the afternoon, when the king did tasks at his leisure, he called upon Benjamin. "Yes? What do you need me for, Your Majesty?" he asked.

"Today, I will go horse riding," he said. "I would like you to accompany me." For horse riding? Why? He didn't understand but he didn't ask questions, either.

"Yes, of course," he said.

As they walked to get Ethan's horse, Benjamin felt eyes on him – the king's eyes. He didn't look back because he was unsure of what was happening.

"Benjamin," the king said.

"Yes?" he asked, though he realized then that the king wasn't calling him. He was rather saying the name as if it was a new word.

"Benjamin, do you know what your name means?" he asked.

Oh, yes, Benjamin forgot that Ethan had a fascination with names. "No, I do not."

"I was informed today that your name means _son of the right hand_," he said. "I find that fitting."

"Do you?" he asked. Benjamin certainly didn't.

"Yes, I do, though you seem doubtful," he said. "Do not doubt it. I _have_ been permitting you to act as such. If you were a nobleman, perhaps I would view you as potentially being my right hand."

"Me?" Benjamin asked. He was even more doubtful now. Why would the king choose him over any other person? "I thought perhaps you would consider Lord Rory as your right hand."

He shook his head. "He is loyal and he is the most person I trust. However, he is not fit to be my right hand." They were getting closer to the stable now. "Being the right hand of a king requires an intelligence and determination that I believe you possess."

He was flattered, but he didn't think that was true. "I respect your opinion, but I do not think I am as intelligent as you think I am."

"Benjamin, do you know how many people have tried to help me?" he said. They were at the stable now, the king immediately heading to his horse. Benjamin had seen his horse before, but it was even more beautiful this close. Admittedly, he was a little scared. He didn't know if this horse had the urge to kick him or not. It was most definitely well-trained, but Benjamin could never be sure. They headed out, the king continuing what he said last. "Do you know how many have tried to help after what happened six years ago? Other than you, two. First is my sister. She loves me as I love her, but we were both suffering. The fact that she does not stay here anymore does not serve well, either." There was something left unsaid, but Benjamin knew what it was. That there was a possibility that Princess Jane wouldn't be back. He knew how desperate the king must be. He probably felt alone in this big castle, without a family, without anyone visiting. "And there is Lord Rory, the closest person in my life these past few years, but even he isn't close enough to me. He's tried to help me, but I never listened. This might be the only time that I feel as if I could become a better king. It started with you facing me and being brave, but now I sense respect from you as I feel respect for what you have done."

The king respected him? Benjamin felt his cheeks getting warmer. "Thank you, Your Majesty," he said. "Perhaps these words will be joyous to you, but I do see that you are kinder, and not only to me, but to others as well."

He nodded in acknowledgement. He didn't really show his emotions, did he? Benjamin didn't expect him to, and the king didn't have to, either.

They'd reached an area near where the king had practiced with his targets the very day that Benjamin decided to defy him. At the beginning, the king rode his horse at a slow pace, with Benjamin tailing behind, but not very close to the horse. Eventually, he'd gone faster, and Benjamin was forced to stay behind for the short while that the king rode on his horse. When he'd returned, the king hopped off and said, "Have you ever been on a horse?"

What kind of question was this? Of course he hadn't. He didn't have the money to get a horse, nor did he ever ask to be on a horse before. So, he shook his head.

"Would you like to be on mine?" he asked.

"Me, a poor man, riding the horse of the king?" he asked.

"Yes. And if I had a problem with it, I would not ask you this question," he said.

"But … I do not know how to ride a horse," Benjamin said.

"Yes, I figured. I could teach you. Or you could ride with me," he offered.

While Benjamin wanted to learn, he did not think he would have the opportunity to ride horses all that much. Besides, he would be lying if he said that riding a horse with the king was not an exciting idea. "Perhaps I could ride with you."

King Ethan nodded, then helped Benjamin to get on top of the horse. They ended up with King Ethan in front and Benjamin holding on to him from behind. It felt intimate. He felt as if the king meant for this to happen – as if he wanted to have Benjamin with him on the horse all along. But Benjamin couldn't let himself think that way. The king was probably only being kind.

The horse moved, at first slowly. Even with this slow pace, it was already fun for him. It was such a new feeling to him that even when they weren't going fast, he felt excited. Then he truly felt free once the horse started running. He clutched the king tighter, afraid he would fall off. He would have dwelled on the fact that the king didn't mind if he wasn't so distracted with his joy of being on a horse.

He felt as if his eyes were lying to him at one point when he thought he'd seen the king smiling. He hadn't seen him smile during his whole time here. Maybe his eyes were playing tricks on him. That had to be the case. By the end, when the horse finally stopped, Benjamin wanted more. He understood why people liked horses so much now. But more importantly, he saw what this did to the king. When he was out, doing something he seemed to enjoy, not caring about his royal duties, King Ethan was a slightly different person. Even that _slight_ change told Benjamin that the king wasn't always a serious man. He liked to have fun, and Benjamin wished he would see more of this Ethan when he wasn't busy with his royal responsibilities.

* * *

Today, and for the rest of the week, the king was busier than normal. Not only did he have Lady Erica in the castle several times, he was also rarely in his room. He always had something to do. Benjamin wondered what he was doing, but he had to remind himself that this was what a king went through.

During this particular day, as Ethan sat in his room, waiting for supper, Benjamin had asked if he could come in, and the king permitted him. He opened the door, expecting the king to look tired, but today, he truly looked as if he was about to be unconscious. His eyes were unfocused even as he tried to look at Benjamin. His body seemed as if it was trying to lay on the chair instead of sitting on it. Benjamin set the food on the table and said, "Your Majesty, I hope you are doing fine." Of course, he didn't seem like he was, but this was a statement of concern.

He laughed. "Oh, I wish I was." It felt strange, seeing him laugh. Why was it when he was tired that he allowed himself to show amusement, yet when he wasn't tired, he only wore a serious face?

Benjamin did not wait for any command from the king. Instead, he poured some water for him.

He could see the king's eyes on him as if studying him, but of course, he was too exhausted to do that for long, and he ended up diverting his gaze. "Thank you," he said, looking back at his food. "This is too much food. It's always been too much."

"Well, maybe I can tell the cook to make less food for y-"

"You can tell the cook what you want later. Perhaps you would like some of the food now?"

He did not know what the correct way to answer him was, but he knew he couldn't agree to this. This was the _king's_ food. He had his own, anyway. King Ethan's food did look mouthwatering, but it wasn't Benjamin's to eat. "I cannot. I apologize."

"Are you not hungry?"

"I have my own food ready, Your Majesty."

"Then bring it home to your grandmother." Benjamin was surprised the king remembered that he had a grandmother. He had only mentioned it the first day he'd stepped into the castle. He must have a good memory, then. King Ethan pointed at the other chair. "Come. Sit." He was frozen in his place at first. What was happening? The king's steady gaze convinced Benjamin that he was serious, so he sat down. He wouldn't look at the food directly or at King Ethan in the eye. "Eat with me. I would hate to be alone this night." He did not wait for Benjamin to protest. He took his spoon and had some of the soup.

Benjamin was unsure of what to do or even where to start. When he looked at the food, it was, indeed, a lot. So, he made sure to only touch the smaller food since the bigger ones didn't seem like they were meant for a commoner to eat them.

"How old are you, Benjamin?" King Ethan asked.

It took Benjamin a few seconds before answering because he did not expect the king to ask such a question. "Twenty-nine," he answered. He knew they were both the same age since the king's age was no secret. He also knew he was born half a year before the king.

"You were born here?" he asked.

"Yes, I was," he said. The question made Benjamin think of his parents, which in turn made him think about the king executing his parents. For a while, he'd forgotten about that. He never forgot the fact that his parents were gone, but looking at the king the past few days, he was not the same person who wrongfully called his parents traitors. He now wished that it wasn't the king who'd killed them. He did not want to have buried hate for his actions. But this was the reality. King Ethan was responsible for the death of a lot of people, and most didn't deserve it.

"Do you like it here? Not the castle. The kingdom, I mean."

That was a hard question for Benjamin. It was hard only because Benjamin never truly liked the kingdom. It wasn't because the kingdom was bad. In fact, during King Ross's reign, things were more peaceful than they were these days. Still, even at a young age, he realized how poor his family was. He'd seen how sad his family was, and in turn, he became sad.

"I see," he said. It hurt Benjamin to see the king disappointed. He knew that these days, he was trying his best.

"I will admit I have been feeling better these days," he assured.

The king didn't answer and instead continued eating. It was silent for a while, and Benjamin felt like he should leave, but he knew it wouldn't be right to do so. Yes, he was not particularly afraid of the king, but he preferred not to leave a lonely king by himself when he requested it.

"I do not wish bother you too much, but I have a final question for you." He bit on his lower lip, looking at the ground in contemplation. "Do you think my people will ever accept me again? I am aware of their opinions on me, and I know they are mostly hateful. But will they ever accept me if I became different?"

"Maybe," Benjamin said. He couldn't say anything for certain. He could only guess. "I don't think they would accept a changed King Ethan at first. Maybe they would think this is all a trick. But if you keep showing that you've changed, I do not see why at least some of them wouldn't have any hateful opinions on you. Besides, I do not think you should strive for acceptance." Ethan pressed his lips together. "I think you should strive for the general good of the people when you can. And your own acceptance."

"My own acceptance? What do you mean?" he asked.

"I mean," Benjamin said, "do what you think is right. Not what pleases people."

Ethan let out a breath that Benjamin realized was a suppressed laugh. "You made me recall myself when I was a prince. Behind the castle walls, I helped my father with what I could, making decisions with him that I knew would displease others, but I always encouraged him to make them because I know they would be for the good of the people. But I would never admit that before. I always wanted people to see me as the perfect prince – one who wouldn't dream of displeasing his people. I was far from that." Benjamin didn't know that. Of course, Ethan's plan had worked because even Benjamin used to admire him for the reasons he'd mentioned. But he didn't know why Ethan wished for that to happen. If anything, he thought that the stronger side of Ethan might have also been well-viewed by the people, too. But he didn't know what life was like for royalty, so he couldn't judge him much for his decisions. "Of course, I was a much better man than I am now."

"I don't believe you were a much better man. I believe you were great, yes, but I think that this king, who wants to better himself, who wants to be the king that his people need – he is a great man. I only think you were a slightly better man before. But that will change. You will be even greater than you believe."

"You believe in me that much, Benjamin?" the king asked.

"Yes, I do. I've seen you change the way you think in the matter of a week. Of course I believe in you that much."

He nodded. "Thank you. That means more to me than you might think."

"I'm glad," he said.

That night, he left the castle to go home with a smile. If he would have told himself two weeks ago that he would be falling for the king again, he wouldn't have believed it. But now, he didn't believe that _he_ was the reason the king wanted to change. _He_ was the person the king allowed himself to laugh in front of. _He_ was the person who the king wanted to be around. And he was truly glad.

* * *

**No Ethan POV this time. I felt like Benny's POV is enough this time. And anyway, I just wanted to update. I'm on a roll right now and I don't wanna stop until finals come. **

**As always, I'd love some feedback from you guys. I'd like to know what I'm doing right, what's not quite there, what I could work on. I just wanna hear from you guys. Even if you wanna tell me "I like/don't like it", I'd like to hear it.**

**Until next time!**


	5. Lovely Night

**Hi, guys!**

**I feel like at this point, I'm sort of winging this story. Like, I know where it's heading, but I don't know how to get there, so I'm just coming up with things as I go. With that said, I hope you guys enjoy my chaotically-planned story.**

* * *

Benjamin had no idea what the king was discussing with Lady Erica these recent days. When he would walk in on the two of them, he would not understand what was happening. If he understood in the slightest, then he had no idea what the context was. Should he be this curious? Probably not, but that wouldn't stop him from trying to find out.

The first sign that the king was trying to change something within the kingdom was when Benjamin's grandmother returned home one night, a big smile on her face. "Did you hear?"

"Hear what?" he asked, his lips mirroring his grandmother's smile without his realization.

"I'm surprised the king hadn't told you!" she said. "But medicine is so much cheaper now!"

"It is?" he asked.

"Yes," she said. "If we were to be in the same poor state that we've been in before, we would still not be able to afford it, but we are in a better position now. That is why I gave some money to our neighbor. Her son is terribly ill and now she can get medicine for him."

Benjamin was glad some of their money was spent selflessly as well. It would not put them in a dangerous situation either, so Benjamin did not mind. Still, they didn't have plenty of money. While before they could barely afford food, they now were able to buy as much as was enough with a little bit of money left – but only a little.

"What's wrong, Benjamin?" his grandmother asked.

He shook his head. "Nothing. I was just thinking about how much happier I am now." She patted his shoulder. "I wish Mother and Father were here." He wondered if they would love the fact that they now had enough to eat and live or if they would hate that Benjamin received money from the very man who ordered their execution.

"I do, too," she said. "They would be happy to see you smile." He tried to stop himself from smiling, but his grandmother's comment only made his smile grow. "When you started working for the king, I thought you would hate it. I know you hated him. I was wrong, and I wonder what makes you so happy working for him."

He also thought he would be miserable there. But things were much more different than Benjamin thought. The king turned out to be a lonely man who needed someone to keep him company. No one ever wanted to sit or stand alongside the king. Until now. Once Benjamin started to understand King Ethan, he felt like he understood him more. He might still be a little angry at the fact that the king was the reason Benjamin had no parents anymore, but strangely enough, he forgave him.

"I think I am happy because he is willing to change matters for the better," he said.

"That's good," she said. "Perhaps his days of madness are over."

* * *

Benjamin noticed one big change in Ethan over the past few weeks. While he acted as his usual stern self in front of others, when he would call Benjamin to his room, he was not afraid to smile or laugh, and every time he did, Benjamin's heart would flutter. How could he look so handsome? The way his eyes twinkled with joy, the way his lips subtly gave way to a smile – it gave Benjamin life.

He would take Benjamin with him to do his leisurely activities often, just as he did today with archery, but that wasn't the best part of Benjamin's day. It was supper time, when he'd bring the food and King Ethan would have Benjamin eat with him. At first, he'd gotten in trouble for that, but once the king explained how he'd told Benjamin to stay with him every night, Benjamin was excused. Even at the beginning, he was a little hesitant regarding eating with Ethan, but after a few days, he'd gotten accustomed to it and it started to become normal.

Today, Benjamin thought to ask something of Ethan as they were finishing their supper. "Your Majesty, why do you ask me to stay with you every night? Why do you not ask anyone else?"

The king looked to the side, eyebrows furrowed, as if he hadn't thought of this question himself. "Well, I suppose it's because I feel most comfortable with you." He looked Benjamin in the eyes. "Do you feel comfort with me?"

He didn't hesitate when he nodded. Of course the answer was _yes_. "If I wasn't, I would not be here. Yes, I respect you, but if I didn't wish to stay, I would've told you."

Ethan let out a small chuckle. There went Benjamin's heart, beating fast just at the sight of the king's happiness. His brown eyes stared into Benjamin's, his smile remaining. "I quite like that about you."

Benjamin felt lost in his eyes – the ones that used to be so harsh but now gentle only for _him_. A younger Benjamin would have fainted at the thought. Present him bit on his lower lip, unsure of what to say and at the same time distracted by the look in King Ethan's face. Once he realized that he needed to answer, he said, "Thank you." All of that thinking for just that? Two words? It didn't feel appropriate – not for a king. "What I meant is I appreciate that. And I appreciate everything you've done recently. I don't think I've been this content with my life before."

"I'm glad," King Ethan said, finally breaking his gaze at Benjamin. He looked down at the food, which was almost finished. "I am full now, but if you would like to finish the food, I will happily remain here and converse with you."

Benjamin shook his head. "I am full as well." He stood up as did the king. "I should bring the tray back to the kitchen." He'd almost forgotten something. "But before I do, would you like me to leave your medicine here?" he asked, lifting it up. He knew the answer yet he still asked.

Ethan shook his head. "I've stopped feeling ill recently. If I do need it, I will tell you."

He put the medicine back on the tray, still feeling King Ethan's eyes on him. Before he could lift the tray, Ethan asked, "Benjamin?" The mention of his name made him immediately shift his attention back to Ethan, who had his head tilted to the right a little. "Do you like me?" Benjamin blinked. He did not think the king would ask such a question. He felt exposed at the moment, as if all his feelings were clearly displayed on his face when he was trying so hard to hide them.

"Your Majesty, this might not be the best time to-"

"If you are afraid to tell me, then I will tell you." Benjamin swallowed. He never felt so flustered before. "I like you." Benjamin felt his cheeks burning. "Unless you do not feel the same way, then maybe I've read you wrong."

He wanted to answer, but all that went through his head was _why _did the king like _him_ of all people? He was poor and he had nothing incredibly special about him. Why him?

"I understand. Apologies for-"

He shook his head. "No, Your Majesty. You did not read me wrong."

"Oh?" he asked.

He felt a little out of his place doing it, but he nodded. It felt strange telling him how he felt, but it also felt … freeing. It felt even better knowing the king also felt some attraction to him.

"Then don't go," said Ethan. Benjamin's mouth was agape. He did not understand what exactly was happening, but he had an idea. "Kiss me first."

Benjamin was suddenly aware of the distance between them and how it was getting smaller as Ethan stepped closer. Ethan's head tilted upwards and he leaned closer and closer. A part of Benjamin was scared, but a part of him knew that not everyday did a king tell a commoner like him that he liked him … and that excited Benjamin. This excitement grew and grew until Benjamin caved in. He closed his eyes and leaned in to kiss him.

At first, things felt slow. The kiss was brief and they parted before Benjamin felt ready to. He wanted more. He needed more. Ethan kissed him again, but it felt more passionate and so much _better_, as if both of them were letting themselves get lost into each other more and more. King Ethan started stepping backwards, not parting lips with Benjamin, until he stopped. Benjamin realized they must have reached something behind Ethan. They parted and Benjamin took the chance to look behind Ethan where the bed way. He felt the hang on King Ethan holding Benjamin by his shirt and pulling him. Benjamin felt his attraction for Ethan grow and he desperately wanted to whatever the king wanted, but he realized that this was moving a bit faster than he'd predicted. "Your Majesty, maybe we should-"

"Now when you say _Your Majesty_, it feels too formal."

"Then … what should I call you?" he asked.

King Ethan smiled. "You can call me by my name. Or you can call me as _your king_."

He hesitated. It felt almost wrong to not refer to him as _Your Majesty_, but it felt special, too. "My … king?" he tried.

"Yes. Now, don't speak. We weren't done, were we?" Benjamin felt himself melting. The king _wanted_ him. So, he kissed him and kissed him until he felt he couldn't anymore … mostly because he knew he needed to get home or else his grandmother would worry.

Leaving Ethan felt hard tonight, but he had to leave. He had to go back to his grandmother and let the king eventually prepare for sleep. He left the king's chamber smiling, though he immediately hid it once he was around others.

He greeted his grandmother when he reached his home, then went to his bed. He couldn't sleep for what felt like a while because he kept thinking over and over about how Ethan wanted Benjamin. It felt sweet. And sleep? It was even sweeter knowing he would see the king tomorrow as well.

* * *

**I realized this story might also be short, kinda like Takeover, if you've read that. Even though my chapters are short now, I do hope you like them. **

**Leave me some feedback so I can know what you guys think!**

**Until next time!**


	6. Nightly Visit

**Last chapter was all Bethan and there will be some in this chapter, but I'm getting into some serious things now.**

**Also, I would like to remind you guys that this is an AU. It is not realistic in any way (except in some aspects that I've researched BUT OTHER THAN THAT) … in this AU, being gay is not frowned upon even though I know it was back in the middle ages.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

Benjamin must have been imagining things now because it felt as if the castle had more sunlight coming through the windows and open halls these days. The flowers in the garden seemed to be getting their life back. There were even more smiles in the castle. But mostly _inside_ of it.

While the people of the kingdom were happier about the medicine prices being lower, and they _were_ demanding more changes, it still felt as if the kingdom wasn't happy. Or were they happy and they merely looked at Benjamin with distaste? Perhaps the latter was true, but it had always been true. Before he'd worked for Ethan, he was disliked for his theft. Now, he was disliked for working in the castle, viewed more as a traitor to the people and a supporter to the king. Of course he supported the king. He supported him for the changes he was making, but he also didn't hate the people of the kingdom, no matter how they treat him. And now … now that he'd found out how Ethan felt about him, it made him care less about what the people thought of him. At least there was someone other than his grandmother who appreciated him for who he was.

As he walked through the castle, on his way to do his first task for the day, Benjamin found himself in an area of the castle he didn't go to often. It was the same place where he'd found the hallway with Princess Sarah's picture and the two flowers. He knew he should head to do his work, but his legs had another idea. They started making their way towards the table with the flowers and the painting. As he looked at the portrait of Princess Sarah, he wondered why this place was chosen for its display – a place rarely visited. Why here in front of this door – one that he didn't believe anyone entered or left through?

Footsteps. They weren't his. He looked to his right – the direction where he'd come from – to see Ethan looking his way, but not particularly at him. He seemed to be looking at the table, which was the only thing that could be seen from where he was standing.

"My apologies," Benjamin said. "I will get back to work."

Ethan's eyes met Benjamin's. Pain. There was pain in his eyes. He missed her and his son, didn't he? Of course he did. What kind of loving husband and father wouldn't miss them? "It's all right." His pained expression was gone and, after taking an audible breath, he started stepped towards Benjamin. As he recalled, Ethan never stepped here, so it was strange to see him do it. He stood beside Benjamin, his eyes looking at the deceased Princess' portrait for a brief second, then at Benjamin himself. "I believe everyone loved and respected her."

Benjamin nodded. "She was a brave and kind woman."

Ethan smiled a little. If Benjamin wasn't paying attention, he wouldn't have noticed it. "The bravest woman I knew. Did you know that she was familiar with the use of swords?"

"She did?" That was new to him. He'd never heard of it.

"Yes, her father taught her. But she never told anyone because she didn't want to be known for it. She wanted to be known for her own bravery, not her skills."

She succeeded in that regard. People knew how Princess Sarah could face a thousand men without difficulty, which even a king sometimes wouldn't be able to do if he wasn't competent. "You were close to her, were you not?" It seemed like a stupid question, but he knew royalty didn't always marry for love. They married for alliances, resources, armies, and things Benjamin couldn't even comprehend. Not every marriage was a sign closeness. Even for the regular people, marriage was sometimes done for their own benefits – money, food, children, status.

Ethan nodded. "She was dear to me."

It reminded him once of a time when Benjamin was carrying bags to the market as it was his job. These bags would be brought to a merchant who would sell them. He never cared what was in the bag, but he knew it was typically food. As he walked that day, he remembered hearing some women chatting. "_He bought her the red necklace. Why would he buy _that_ for her? He could have gotten something from another kingdom._"

"_But the Princess looks wonderful in it, didn't you see? And he told her the red reminded him of his love for her! I wish my husband would tell me sweet things as the prince does._"

"_Why would he say that to someone like you?_"

He knew he'd just missed the Prince and the Princess in their weekly strolls through the market this time. But these were the little stories he used to hear of them. He was never sure if Ethan said those things before only because people were watching and listening or because he truly loved the Princess.

"But she is gone. I can never bring her back, even if I tried to." He swallowed. "At least I had wonderful memories of her and our child. But now I suppose it is time to make new memories."

"I suppose," Benjamin said, smiling at Ethan, who smiled in return. "Perhaps I will talk to you more tonight?"

"If you want to speak to me tonight, you may," Ethan said. Benjamin was disappointed. Did he not want Benjamin around anymore? "But I had other plans with you." _Oh_. "Perhaps you would like to inform your grandmother that you will be late tonight." Benjamin did not know what to say. He was happy, but he did not want to show the extent of his happiness to Ethan. He only found himself smiling wider.

* * *

The week felt like a dream. Benjamin was falling even harder for Ethan. Maybe it was because he saw how Ethan truly was in the privacy of his own chamber. He liked being around him. He liked talking to him. He liked being in bed with him. He liked his gentleness when they were together. He liked how Ethan's eyes looked up at Benjamin with affection.

One night, after having dinner, when they were both in Ethan's bed, instead of Benjamin trying to hurry off before any suspicions would arise, Ethan insisted that he stayed for a bit. "I want you around me." While Benjamin still worried that someone would find out about what had been happening, he felt like he couldn't say no to his king. _His_ king.

"If you insist," he said. "I hope my grandmother wouldn't mind me staying here for a little longer."

"Tell her you were busy," Ethan said. As if Benjamin wasn't already saying that. "Benjamin?" Did he want to change the subject?

"Yes?"

"It occurred to me that you are in my life every day, but I've never been in yours." Benjamin knew where this was going, but he was hoping against all odds that Ethan wouldn't want to be involved in Benjamin's life. It was a poor man's life. "I would like to visit you one day."

Benjamin looked to the side, not wanting to meet Ethan's eyes. "Trust me, you do not want to visit. Our house is … not the best house you will see in this kingdom."

"I do not expect it to be so. But your house, how it looks like, it does not matter to me. I want to meet your family." His family that only consisted of his grandmother. "I want to be involved with you as you are with me."

Benjamin bit on his lower lip before answering. "I will talk to my grandmother first." Maybe he could convince her to say no. He was ashamed of his house and he didn't want the king to see it. "But she will wonder why you would come visit us."

"Then tell her about us," he said.

"What?" he asked. "But you don't want others to find out."

"I, myself, wonder why we're hiding. It is not wrong to be with you."

"It may be so, but the people would not receive this well." For the king to be with a poor man? That was unheard of. Especially in this kingdom, the royal family was known to either marry other royalty or noble people.

"No one thinks highly of me in this kingdom. I know it. I have done horrible things – unforgivable things. People have never agreed with my decisions. I do not expect them to but I do not care anymore." Benjamin still thought this to be a bad idea, but he didn't say any further. He agreed to Ethan's words and promised he would tell his grandmother.

* * *

His grandmother was surprised when she heard that Benjamin was intimate with the king. She did not say anything at first, so he continued talking, now telling her that he wanted to visit.

It was silent for a few seconds before she spoke. "How long have you been that close to him?"

He was scared to answer her. Maybe she wouldn't approve, especially since Ethan was the reason her son and his wife were gone. "Not too long. Maybe a week or so."

"And he wants to come so soon? My, I need to get prepared. I have nothing appropriate to welcome or serve him."

That was what she worried about? "You will welcome him?" It sounded like a stupid question now. He regretted asking it.

"Of course I will! What else am I supposed to do?"

"Well, if we aren't prepared, I could ask him to come when we are."

"Nonsense. He requested to come. I may still be the slightest bit angry at him for what he used to do, but I can learn to forgive just as you have." And here Benjamin thought that he used to be angrier at Ethan than his grandmother was. She always appeared calm, but now he knew a little about how she felt. "At least he is willing to change, as you've told me."

He guessed he had to tell Ethan that his grandmother was glad to have him come. He looked around the house. What would Ethan think of his house? His eyes drifted towards the door to the room that used to be his parents'. Would they hate him for this?

* * *

They'd heard the knocking first. Benjamin went to answer the door, expecting to see Ethan's face. Instead, he was met with that of a guard. He stepped back, making way for a hooded figure. Benjamin would not have guessed it was Ethan if it wasn't for his knowledge that he was coming. Also, the fact that he was shorter than Benjamin assured him that was likely Ethan. And it was. He pulled his cape's hood back, his soft face now visible to Benjamin. It was impressive how just seeing Ethan's face made Benjamin's heart flutter. Did Ethan feel the same way about him?

"Good evening, Your Majesty," he said. It was starting to feel strange calling him _Your Majesty_ when he was so used to addressing him by his name.

Ethan smiled. "Good evening."

Benjamin made way for him to come inside. When he did, he greeted Benjamin's grandmother, who had the same smile she usually wore when others would come over. Of course she would treat him no different. She didn't care whether he was a king or a traveler. She'd treat him as she was used to.

Ethan took off his cape and looked at Benjamin in the eye briefly before his grandmother assisted Ethan in putting his cape elsewhere. Benjamin noticed that Ethan wasn't wearing his usual clothes, the ones that had nice patterns and colors. Instead, he was wearing something that was almost normal. Almost. It was still nicer than anything Benjamin could buy.

"Please, have a seat," his grandmother said, pulling a chair at the table for Ethan to sit in.

"Thank you," he said with a polite smile. Benjamin's grandmother stood there for a second, looking at the king. He'd wondered why at first, but soon realized that people were not used to seeing Ethan smile. Not these past years, anyway. Only those in the castle had seen him smile again.

She seemed to stop staring quite quickly and asked, "Have you eaten yet, Your Majesty?"

He shook his head. "No. I thought I would come here then eat back in the castle."

"You are a guest. I would be delighted if you had some of my food."

Benjamin decided to speak now after being silent for a while. "You should have some of her food. It is humble food compared to what you have but it _is_ delicious." Especially now that they were able to afford more ingredients, she was able to make more food that tasted even better.

"If you insist," he said. "Then it would give me pleasure to try it."

"Wonderful," she said, then went off to bring the food.

"Do you need my help?" he asked before she would disappear. He was hoping for a yes, mostly to hide the fact that he was anxious at Ethan's presence. He probably hated the house. It was old and ugly.

"No. You should keep our guest company," she said. Why did she have to behave so politely around him?

Once she left, Benjamin thought of another idea to mask his fear, which was to sit down beside Ethan. If he sat in front of him, Ethan, who was smart and easy at reading Benjamin, would notice that something was wrong. So, he pulled the chair beside him and sat down. Maybe Benjamin should've thought more on this decision because Ethan looked down at something even worse.

"Your hands are shaking," Ethan whispered, taking Benjamin's into his and rubbing on them gently. "You don't need to be scared."

"I'm not scared," Benjamin said, maybe slightly more defensively than he would've liked. He shook his head. "I not as scared as you think. I'm merely worried."

"About what?" Ethan asked with a hint of a laugh.

"About having the king come to my house as a guest." He thought that part should've been a little more obvious.

"That's where you went wrong, my love." Benjamin felt his cheeks get warmer. _His love?_ "Do not think of me as a king. Think of me as the man you care for. Do you care for me?"

"Of course I do," he said. How could he not?

"I would hope so from the man who'd been spending nights with me. Besides, I would love to see the fearless Benjamin who I once knew." He nodded. He would try, but it would be hard.

Thankfully, his grandmother had come at that moment with the tray of food. Benjamin helped her in putting the food on the table.

"You've become more careful," his grandmother said.

"Of course," Benjamin replied. "I would be concerned if I was recklessly serving food in the castle."

Ethan raised his eyebrows. "Someone's forgotten how reckless he used to be when he first came to the castle."

Benjamin breathed out, closing his eyes. "You did not have to inform my grandmother of that."

When he opened his eyes, he found his grandmother shaking her head as she finished putting the remaining food on the table. Ethan, meanwhile, smiled in amusement at Benjamin.

After the tray was put away, they began to eat their meal with mostly Benjamin's grandmother complaining to Ethan about how much Benjamin was a child in a man's body, always saying and doing stupid things. Ethan was only smiling and laughing, maybe sometimes answering if asked a question, but other than that, it was Benjamin who talked alongside his grandmother. Well, _talk_ would be a terrible word. It was mostly an argument. But through all that, Benjamin expected Ethan to be uncomfortable with the way the two talked to each other. It surprised him how whenever he looked at the king, he was … happy.

Had he not had supper with his family in such a manner? Or was it that he hadn't had family around him for a long time? It must be terribly lonely in the castle.

Once they finished the food, Benjamin's grandmother asked Ethan's, "I hope the food was enough. If it wasn't, I could…"

"Oh, it was enough," Ethan said. "I am quite full. Thank you. Especially for that soup. That was unlike anything I've tasted before."

Silence fell as Benjamin looked at his grandmother briefly, who was looked down at the empty bowls and plates, then quietly went to get the tray she'd put away. Benjamin was afraid to speak when she returned to take away the remaining items from the table, and he was afraid to speak when she left them alone.

"Did I say something wrong?" Ethan whispered, his gritted teeth showing.

"It wasn't anything you said." He was scared of saying more. He wished Ethan wouldn't ask anything further.

"Then it is related to something I said," he concluded. And it was related to something he did a while back.

"Maybe," he said.

"You will not tell me, will you?" he asked.

Benjamin looked to where his grandmother had gone. Could she hear them if they spoke about this? It wasn't as if Benjamin wanted to, in any case, but he especially did not want his grandmother to hear him, even if the chances of that were small. "Not here. I will somewhere else at a later time."

Ethan nodded, though he didn't seem as happy anymore. Even when Benjamin's grandmother came back and Ethan was back to smiling, it felt more polite than joyous. He would even sometimes stare at nothing for a brief period of time before being attentive again.

Before Benjamin knew it, Ethan had stood up, ready to leave. Benjamin didn't know whether he was sad that he was leaving or glad that this moment would pass. He'd taken his cape and like a breeze, he was gone.

* * *

That night and the following day, Ethan kept thinking about his visit to Benjamin's house. It wasn't the only thought in his head since he had many more things to worry about, but this was always bothering him. He was afraid he'd made Benjamin's grandmother upset. He didn't know how, though. He thought he was being nice. Was it because he was too nice? Was his wording bad? Did she not like her own soup? He wanted these torturous thoughts away but he had to wait for Benjamin to answer.

During the morning, he'd thought of summoning Benjamin to his chamber, but he decided against it. This could be something that also upsets Benjamin. He could be unready to say anything. At the same time, Ethan was growing impatient. So, to distract himself, he went off to do his duties as a ruler of this kingdom. He'd seen Benjamin once or twice in passing, but neither said a word to each other. It hurt Ethan a little to see him so distant from him.

At night, though, they would see each other as they usually did. Ethan would be lying if he said that wasn't thrilled every time that he'd see Benjamin – his beautiful green eyes, his joyous voice, his bright smile, his encouraging words. And tonight, they did meet for supper.

Once Benjamin sat down, his eyes not exactly meeting Ethan's, a part of Ethan felt sad. Was he in pain through this day as well? Or was he in more pain? "I hope you're doing fine, my love." He remembered when those words were only for his princess, Sarah. But now, they've found their way to this man, who was probably the opposite of her. A tall, pale-skinned, poor man … all things that Sarah wasn't. It was surprising how much Ethan had moved past her. He still remembered her with her fascinating beauty and unmatched determination, but she was gone. He could never bring her back. This man in front of him – the man he admired – was real and here.

"I could get used to you calling me _your love_," Benjamin said with a small smile, his eyes on the food in front of him. "But yes, I am fine. Do you think I am angry at you?" He was looking at him now.

Well, he did not look angry. "No. I thought that you did not want to talk to me today."

Benjamin shook his head, his eyes tired. "If anything, I missed speaking to you."

"Then speak to me."

Benjamin tightened his lips at first, then he opened them to speak. "Perhaps I should tell you what happened yesterday." Finally. At least Ethan wouldn't be wondering what he'd done wrong now. "You reminded my grandmother of my own mother. She used to make that soup that you had last night." He had a smile, but it wasn't a happy one. His eyes were sad, as well. "We were even more poor back then than we are now, so when we'd be able to afford more food, my mother would buy her favorite vegetables and make it for us. It was our favorite." Ethan could tell what the end of the story was. "But … she is gone. As is my father. I miss them, but my grandmother spends more time at home than I do. She must feel their loss greatly."

Ethan felt a knot form in his throat that, when gone, he tried his best to console Benjamin. "I'm terribly sorry. I did not know." Did he speculate that Benjamin's parents were no longer around? Maybe. But did he know that a compliment would get Benjamin and his grandmother sad? Certainly not. Worst of all, he did not want to ask what happened. Not only would it bring bad memories, as his own parents' deaths did, but he was also scared of the answer. Most of the dead people of the kingdom were dead because of him. He always lived through that guilt. He could try to fix himself, but he could never undo his bad deeds. He hoped he was not the reason they were gone or else he didn't know how he could forgive himself.

"I didn't expect you to know," Benjamin said.

"Then how about I make your grandmother happier?" Benjamin raised an eyebrow. "I would like to come again another day. Maybe next week. Or even later since I am busy now. But I would like to bring something that she loves."

Benjamin took a while before he nodded. "If it's all right with you."

"Of course it is."

"Then maybe some flowers would make her happy," he said. That was the plan, then. He'd bring her flowers.

"And what would make Benjamin happy?"

Benjamin laughed quietly before answering with, "Anything you would like."

Other than being with Benjamin tonight … "Horse riding in the afternoon? Tomorrow?" He was delighted to receive a nod. At least, even when conversations would get serious and sad, at least they could find little things that made them happy.

* * *

**You should know that I planned for more to happen in this chapter, mainly two visits from Ethan to Benny's house, but the chapter's already at an okay length. We'll get to more next chapter.**

**I hope you guys liked this. Thank you for your support, you beautiful people.**

**(This will not be relevant if you read this way after the publication date, but I would like to say that during these tough times, with the Black Lives Matter protests, stay safe. I hope justice gets served and people no matter their skin color will get to feel safe one day. For now, we have to fight the good fight. I love you all!)**


	7. Hidden Secret

**Hello!**

**Hopefully, this chapter, I won't divert too much and I'll get to the drama. This'll either end up ironic or I'll stick to my words. Future me editing this chapter will tell you. (Future me speaking … I stuck to my words.)**

**Enjoy.**

* * *

The smallest things made Benjamin realize how much closer Ethan wanted to be with him. One thing Ethan did was that he'd glance at Benjamin and smile when nobody was directly looking at him. He'd sometimes brush against Benjamin ever so slightly, or even stare at him when he thought Benjamin didn't notice. Benjamin probably did some of these without being aware. Their love could be so subtle sometimes but still passionate and beautiful.

That was why it took Benjamin by surprise when Ethan called him to his chamber one afternoon only to be met with a passionate kiss. There was nothing subtle about it. It wasn't a hungry kiss, but it felt like it was on the brink of being one.

Benjamin wanted to enjoy this moment, but his confusion prevented that and he pulled away. He looked into Ethan's eyes, its brown color shining in the sunlight, reminding Benjamin of the most beautiful honey. "What is happening, my king?" Benjamin asked.

"My sister will come back soon."

That was great news, but why was this the way he was told about it? "Was this deserving of such a kiss? I thought you were just happy to see me." He gave a playful smile, to which he was met with raised eyebrows.

"Your guesses are terrible," Ethan said. "I am always happy to see you, but now I feel like we do not have much time together. Once my sister is here, we cannot see each other as we do now."

Benjamin kissed him briefly before saying, "Perhaps you should be happy first."

"I _am_ happy. I just want to be with you now." He felt special at that moment just as he felt that the king was special to him. "Maybe I could visit you and your grandmother again this week."

"You did not mention any flowers. I am inclined to reject your offer." He offered a smile to make it clear that he was not serious.

Ethan frowned, and in that instance, his eyes looked innocent, which was very unlike the old Ethan. This new Ethan was so much more lively and beautiful. "I will bring flowers. I promised you."

Benjamin grinned. "Your offer is accepted. If you kiss me again."

"You do not have to convince me to do so," Ethan said, mirroring Benjamin's smile before he leaned in for a kiss. Oh, how beautiful life was for Benjamin.

* * *

Benjamin's grandmother seemed elated when she received flowers from Ethan, probably because she hadn't received a gift in a while. He, as her grandson, would gift her, but he barely had enough time at home since he was so busy working.

He offered Ethan a smile. The flowers were so perfect, having ones of every color Benjamin could think of while going together so well.

"I wish I knew how to take care of these flowers, but they are truly beautiful. Thank you," said Benjamin's grandmother.

"It's my pleasure," said Ethan.

They sat down together after that, Benjamin's grandmother speaking about the things he used to do when he was little. Most of these stories, of course, were used as a way to embarrass him, but the sight of Ethan laughing and smiling made him melt every time. They ate supper, just as they did last time, but now, it seemed that Ethan was careful when choosing his words. He didn't have to try so hard, Benjamin thought. What happened last time was not a big problem.

By the end of the meal, they did not spend the time talking with Benjamin's grandmother. Instead, as she took care of the dishes, Benjamin decided to show Ethan his room. He was more embarrassed by his room than he was of the stories his grandmother said. While Ethan was used to living in a beautiful castle, Benjamin slept in a room that looked and was old. He tried to clean it up before Ethan visited, but it naturally looked messy. Not only that, but there was just one color in the room, which was wooden brown. It was uninteresting, to say the least.

At least, to him it was uninteresting. To Ethan, it seemed like he'd stepped into another realm. He kept looking around, fascination in his eyes.

Benjamin sat down on his bed, which creaked loudly. He winced. These sounds would never be heard in a place like the castle. If there was any creaking, it would be almost silent. "My room is … quite bad. I am aware."

"That wasn't what I was thinking," Ethan said, sitting beside Benjamin. "I like your room. It has history." So did the castle. His reasoning did not convince Benjamin. Ethan ran his hand on Benjamin's bed, at least on the wooden parts. "Did you use to play here when you were younger?" His thumb went across a scratch that exposed a lighter brown color.

"Not always. I used to play outside for most of my childhood, but I did run around in my room plenty." He smiled at the memories. "My mother used to chase after me because I never sat down. Sometimes, I'd fall but I never cared. I would just continue running." It was strange how much he's changed. Now, he rarely ran. He always faced his problems first, which sometimes caused him trouble. Yet again, he hated to think of it, but if he hadn't tried to assassinate Ethan, he wouldn't have met him. He wouldn't have gotten to known how much of a better person he could be if he had someone to love.

"You might laugh at what I am about to say, but I envy you," Ethan said. "I envy your childhood. Growing up as a prince, I never had the freedom you did. I was always taught to be proper and polite. I was never told to be a child. I was involved in politics since I was young." He swallowed. "I wish it was useful to me. Look at me now, a failure of a king."

Benjamin wanted to assure him and to stop him from thinking that way, but he knew that if he was in Ethan's position, he would feel guilty as well. He held Ethan's hand and said, "No matter what you think of yourself, I am proud of what you are doing. I think it takes more bravery to admit that you need to change."

He felt Ethan squeeze his hand a little. "You've changed, as well." Benjamin felt him stroke his hand, and he wondered if this was what people who loved you did. "You are much more reserved now than before." Benjamin chuckled as he remembered his stupid bravery as he faced Ethan. In the end, it worked in his favor. Still, him silently helping Ethan, not seeking out attention or praise for what he's done, was probably the most rewarding feeling because it yielded results. "And I can tell you care more about what you do. I admire that about you."

"Thank you," Benjamin said, a smile growing. "You aren't bad, either." Ethan bumped shoulders with him, which made Benjamin chuckle. They spent a bit of time sitting in silence, Ethan leaning slightly against Benjamin. Eventually, Benjamin said, "Since you're here, perhaps I should show you a bit of my childhood."

"Such as…?" Ethan asked.

"Toys and things that I used to enjoy." Benjamin let go of the king and went to his drawers. "I didn't receive much gifts when I was young but when I did, they were usually small toys, and they made me happy." Yes, happy despite his awareness of how much his family struggled. He opened his lowest drawer and immediately heard the rolling of his marbles.

Footsteps came closer towards him until he saw Ethan from the corner of his eyes sit down beside him. The king picked up a marble made from wood and smiled. Oh, how beautiful his smile was. "I could see you enjoying this when you were young."

"I did," Benjamin said. "These marbles are old, perhaps a little younger in age than your sister is." That being said, it was clear how old the marbles were since most were dented. Ethan put it down and Benjamin moved to the next toy that was wrapped with a cloth, which was how he'd received it. He unwrapped it to reveal a spinning top. "One of my friends also had one of these, so we used to play together." He thought this would bore Ethan a little, but he still seemed happy to know about the small things in Benjamin's past. "I was also given some nice clothes that no longer fit me. I do not know why I keep them, but I do." He put back the spinning top in the drawer and closed it. He opened the open on top of it and he could see the glint of the handle of his knife. He closed the drawer at the sight and hoped that Ethan didn't see that. He was afraid to look at Ethan, but he did.

Ethan's smile was gone. But he wasn't angry. He seemed a little surprised, or, rather, confused. His mouth was slightly agape and his eyes were looking from Benjamin to the drawer. Benjamin wanted to say something, but he couldn't speak. Even if he could, he wouldn't know what to say. He couldn't make the situation better.

"Why do you not want me to see that?" Ethan asked. "Was that a knife, Benjamin?" He did not say _my love_, which was not a good sign. His body seemed tight and his eyes were suddenly sharp. His voice, though, was strangely calm. Terrifyingly calm. "Answer me." This was the king speaking. It wasn't Benjamin's lover anymore.

"I don't plan on using it," he muttered. Ethan did not speak, and Benjamin avoided looking at him, but after a bit, he could not handle the silence and he looked at Ethan. His eyes were fixed on Benjamin. He wanted answers. "I regret ever getting it. I promise you."

"You do not want to be truthful with your king." He stood up. "How could I trust you when you hide from me?" It felt like a stab to Benjamin's heart, but it also felt deserved. If he was in Ethan's position, he wouldn't know what to trust, either.

Benjamin stood up and it felt strange to be standing taller than Ethan when he felt so small in this moment. "I want to be," he said.

"Then why aren't you telling me the truth?" Ethan asked, and despite his authority, he looked so betrayed in that moment. He might have as well been because Benjamin had almost committed treason a while back.

"Because…" Benjamin was not so sure where to proceed. There were so many reasons he didn't tell him yet. He guessed he should start with the obvious reason. "…you would hate me." He expected Ethan to say something, but he didn't. So, Benjamin continued. "Because I wanted to do something horrible and I no longer want to. I no longer want to be the person I was." Still no words came from Ethan. "You have to believe me."

"I want to," Ethan said. "But I don't understand." He shook his head, one foot now behind. "Why?" He wasn't even looking at Benjamin anymore. "Why did you want to betray me? What did I do to you?" Was that sadness in his voice? Distress? Whatever it was definitely held pain. Benjamin hated to be the one inflicting this upon him. Now when he'd learned to smile and to trust, he found out something that could potentially destroy him once again.

"I am no longer angry about it," Benjamin began, "but you killed my mother and father."

His other foot stepped behind. Benjamin did not know what to do to stop this, but he had to. He wanted to.

"They came to you asking for leniency because we couldn't live a good life in this kingdom anymore, but…" He almost didn't want to tell this story, but Ethan deserved to know. "…you did not want to listen and you accused them of treason." And then he had their heads off. It hurt to think about this. He felt as if he was betraying his parents by loving the king, but at the moment, he couldn't focus on that. He could only see the pained expression on Ethan's face.

"And you wanted me dead in return," Ethan said in a low voice. Benjamin opened his mouth, but he guessed that despite Ethan not looking directly at him, he still could see him enough because he raised a hand to stop him from talking. "No, I understand." His voice was even quieter now. "You despised me just as everyone else does." He chuckled, but it seemed like it was more to himself. "Why am I surprised? I knew that. I knew you hated me. I just didn't know you hated me that much."

"Ethan," he said. "I do not feel that way anymore. You know I don't."

He closed his eyes, then after letting out a deep breath, he looked at Benjamin. "It does not matter what I know. What I am sure of is that I cannot have you work in the castle any longer." He wanted to protest, shout _I've changed_, do something. He couldn't lose the king this way. He also couldn't let go of his work. How would they survive now? "It pains me to say it. It truly does. I am sorry for what I've done to you, but I cannot do this any longer. I trusted you and I don't know if I can any longer." He could see Ethan swallow. "Thank you for everything you've done, but we must part ways now."

He didn't want to. He didn't want to leave this part of his life, but what was he going to say that he hadn't already? He'd expressed how he had no motive anymore to hurt Ethan. He was sorry for what he wanted to do before. Would the king ever forgive him? He wanted to ask, but he couldn't anymore. He couldn't find the words anymore. He felt as if his heart was being ripped out. Was Ethan feeling the same way? Or did he not care for Benjamin any longer?

"Goodbye, Benjamin," Ethan said, and before Benjamin knew it, he was gone. It was unreal how they've been speaking about Benjamin's past just now and everything somehow got ruined all of a sudden. He no longer had a lover or a place to work.

Most of all, he felt guilt. He felt so much guilt and he didn't know what he could do anymore. He just hoped the king would not go back to the way he used to be. That was all he wanted.

* * *

**Oops. They broke up. I say oops as if I didn't plan for this to happen when I actually did. I will tell you that there is possibly one more chapter left. Or two. Not sure. Depends on my pace of writing.**

**Until next time!**


	8. Happy Return

**If this is the last chapter, then I hope you'll love the conclusion. If this is the one before the last, then I'll see you next time? If it ends, you know the drill. I always write three stories at a time, so I'll be starting a new one soon. Enjoy!**

* * *

Ethan did not know how he'd managed without Benjamin. He was so used to his presence in the castle that, despite his previous attempt to kill Ethan, he found himself missing the taller man. A day passed, and another, and another, and so on, each one being sadder than the previous. Before he knew it, his sister had arrived and a sliver of happiness was finally present.

As usual, her husband did not come as he feared Ethan, but he had nothing to fear anymore. It didn't matter what he thought of Ethan, though, because his sister made him smile when she was around. She ran to him and hugged him with her arms tight around his neck. He wrapped his arms around her chuckling. "I missed you, sister," he said.

Jane let go of him, looking into his eyes carefully. "Is this really you? Smiling in front of others? Laughing? No, it cannot be." She grinned. "I knew you would change for me."

"Of course I would." He cleared his throat. "What I meant was that I despise you and would never dream of changing for you." He kept his smile to let her know that he wasn't serious.

She slapped him gently on his arm. "You do not know how happy I am," she said.

"And you show your happiness through slapping your older, wiser, more handsome brother?"

"You are only right about being older, you fool," she said, now wrapping her arm around his, which meant she was ready to go inside. When they did, he noticed her looking at him – truly looking at him. "You seem happier, but you are still sad. Why is that?"

He hated that she could read him so well even though they didn't always see each other. "Being alone is not something I particularly enjoy."

"Does Lord Rory not come?"

"He does," Ethan said. "But he does not understand me the way you do."

"No one could understand you the way I do." It sounded like she was bragging, but it was, in fact, a sad statement. They both understood each other because they went through the same pain. They both had no one left in their family, except each other.

He wished he still had Benjamin. Jane will stay for a while, but she had to leave eventually. After that, he would be a lonely king again. Could he forgive him? He felt that he already had.

At the moment, he wondered how he was doing. Perhaps wondering was not enough. He had to know. So, once he'd separated from his sister so she could rest, he requested that a guard finds out how Benjamin was.

* * *

The first few days outside of the castle were hard. People had started turning their heads towards Benjamin, whispering as if he couldn't hear them. He could. They would always talk about him serving the king as if it were an insult.

He was not successful in finding a job during those days. Even his old job would not have him back. Then, they'd noticed that the money they had was not enough to last them the whole week. He hated doing this, but Benjamin was forced to steal again. He'd pretend as if they were gifted to them, but he carried the burden of knowing he was doing something he'd promised the king not to do.

As if things could not get worse, Benjamin one day found himself coughing. He was ill. The worst had come. He could not get medicine even if he wanted to. They did not have enough money, which meant they could not buy it, and if Benjamin was healthy, he would steal some medicine, but he couldn't. His death was near. That was the only thing that was in his future.

He'd spend most of his time lying down in his bed, pain in his throat and body. What hurt more than his illness was not being able to sleep at night and hearing his grandmother's cries. His grandmother would sometimes come to give him food. She used to have this sickness long before but she'd recovered from it, so she could get near him. She would not get sick. He was grateful for her, but he could see the pain she bore.

"Grandmother, everything will be all right," he told her, trying to assure her, but even he could hear how weak his voice was. He could not escape the fact that he would die soon. He would leave her alone.

And one night, he heard a faint knock from the house's door. He wanted to hear what was happening, but his weak body could not stay awake for long. He'd rest for the night.

* * *

"Your Majesty, I have been informed that Benjamin had gotten ill," said the guard once he was called the next day.

"He is ill?" he asked, not particularly waiting for an answer. "Do you know how long?"

"I am unsure, Your Majesty, but he could have been sick for a week. At least, that is how long he'd not been seen," said the guard.

A week? This was not good news. A week meant he was sick without medicine. A week meant he was possibly awaiting for death to come. It will not happen. Ethan would not allow this to happen.

"I will have some medicine bought for him by tonight," he said. He would let the guard or anyone else to deliver it, but he had to see Benjamin. If he couldn't see him, the at least he wanted to give it in person. And so he informed the guard that he would go.

It did not take long for his sister to find out what he had been planning. She came into his chamber and said, "I was told about your heroic task that you plan to do tonight." He did not say anything. "Who is this lucky person, receiving medicine from the oh-so-kind king?"

He eyed her. She truly did love trying to make him feel inferior, didn't she? "It is … someone who used to work in the castle."

"Used to? Those are not few people," she said. "You must understand that I want to know the details."

He shook his head, his arms crossed. "I will not tell you any details, my dear sister. I will tell you that he is poor."

She looked sideways in contemplation, then her eyes widened. "Is it the poor man who used to steal?"

Ethan hated how smart she was. He guessed he'd given her information that was very clear. Servants in this castle weren't usually as poor as Benjamin appeared to be, so perhaps that was what Jane used to find the answer.

"I have been meaning to ask you, but why is he not here any longer?"

Because Ethan felt betrayed when he'd known that Benjamin had wanted to kill him before. "He almost did something I could not forgive. But he didn't." Benjamin had changed in the castle more than Ethan had thought. He knew Benjamin did not have malicious intents any longer, but he still stopped Benjamin from being his servant. He wished he hadn't.

He noticed that Jane did not say anything, but she was deep in her thoughts. He wondered what was on her mind.

At night, once he's made sure that medicine was bought, he headed to Benjamin's house. He was scared to go there today. He did not know how badly Benjamin was sick and he did not want to think about how well his grandmother was handling this.

Once he'd arrived, he knocked on the door and waited for someone to answer. As he expected, it was Benjamin's grandmother who had come to greet him. "Your Majesty," she said, surprised by his presence.

He did not have it in him to pretend that he was happy to see her. He was saddened, just as she was. "I heard of what happened." He could see the defeat in her eyes. She should not be feeling this anymore. He could help her. "I could not bear to hear that he's ill. So, I come with a gift." He took the medicine from the guard who had come with him and handed it to Benjamin's grandmother. It made him realize how even his efforts at making it cheaper could not help them. Who else could it not help? How many poor people had died because they could not provide for themselves?

She looked at it for a bit before looking at Ethan. "Thank you," she said. "Whatever the price is, I-"

"It is a gift," he said. "There is no price. But if I may ask for a favor, once he recovers, I would like to speak to him."

She nodded. "How shall I inform you?"

"I will send someone every few days that you can speak to. And if you need _anything_, you can tell them. I can provide you anything you'd like." He did not know if he was speaking out of kindness or guilt for what he'd done to Benjamin's parents.

"This is kindness enough," she said.

"I would still like to provide more," he said.

She seemed to think before she answered. "All right. If I need anything, I will inform you."

It made him smile. She might have said this only to make him happy and not because she meant it, but regardless, he felt a little satisfaction from the verbal acceptance.

* * *

Benjamin did not realize he'd been having medicine until he started recovering. His grandmother had told him that she'd been putting some in his food. He also did not realize that the king had gifted them the medicine until she told him.

He was most surprised when he saw the amount of food they had. "Where did you get all of these?" he asked.

"The king asked if I needed anything and I requested food."

"Grandmother!"

"Do not raise your voice at me. He was gracious enough to provide with more than I asked for," she said. "Since I mentioned the king, I should tell you that he requested to speak to you."

"He did?" He did not know why, but he felt scared.

"Yes, and he seemed concerned for you," she said. "If you had told me a while back that you would be close to the king, I do not know what I would have done to you. But now … yes, I see why you grew attached to him." She took in a breath then let it out. He could not imagine what her mind had been going through these days. "Does he know?"

About his mother and father. "Yes. I told him." He told Ethan when he found the knife, which he'd gotten rid of.

She nodded. "He will come in two days. Do not cause more trouble, Benjamin."

Two days could not come any slower because it felt as if a lifetime passed before King Ethan had come. It felt strange seeing him once again, feeling so close yet so far away from him.

He'd remembered that Princess Jane was in the kingdom these days. How important was Benjamin for the king to come and visit him while his sister was here?

"Benjamin," Ethan said. "May we speak alone?"

Benjamin nodded. The only place he was willing to go to was his room despite the memories of what had happened the previous time.

Once they were alone, Ethan spoke first. "Are you all right?"

"Yes, I am," Benjamin said. "Thank you for helping me get well."

"Of course I would. If only I'd known before, I would have helped you sooner."

It made Benjamin's heart beat fast. He did not want to hope for a better future with the king. Hope led him nowhere. "Why did you want to speak to me?"

"I wanted to make sure you were well." Benjamin doubted that. He knew Ethan cared, but he had other reasons. "And…" Here they were. "… I could not bear being away from you." Benjamin did not know what to say, so he kept quiet. "I want you back in the castle."

He did? "Back in the castle?"

"Yes," Ethan said. "But not as my servant. I do not want you to serve me."

"I would like to come," Benjamin said. "But I cannot remain without work, Your Majesty."

"Then perhaps you would like to work alongside the physician? Or maybe you would like to help me with the kingdom? At least, the things you know about," Ethan suggested.

Maybe? Benjamin was not sure if this was the best idea. Benjamin could help inform Ethan about the state of the kingdom, but it felt as if there was more to Ethan's request. "If you did not want me there with you as a servant, then why did you want me in the castle?"

"I merely want you there with me. I terribly miss you."

Benjamin swallowed. "And I, too."

"Then come back to the castle."

He wanted to badly. Should he say yes? His life was miserable now that he was outside of the castle. "All right. I will come to the castle and be by your side." He felt even happier seeing Ethan smile. "You do promise to give me something to do in the castle, correct?"

Ethan nodded. "I do," he said.

* * *

As Benjamin opened his eyes, he saw a sliver of sunlight coming through the room, so he turned to look at Ethan. He was asleep. How long had it been since he's been back to the castle? Well, it was most certainly more than twenty days.

More than twenty days of being around Ethan. More than twenty days of Princess Jane pretending she did not care for Benjamin's presence when he knew she'd expressed her happiness to her brother. And there will be more days to come.

He felt Ethan move slightly, his head, which was leaning on Benjamin's neck, moved away. Benjamin noticed that Ethan's eyes were open now. He smiled tiredly, closing his eyes again but speaking regardless. "Did morning come?"

"Yes, my king," he said, kissing him on the forehead.

"Mmm," Ethan grunted, now fully opened his eyes to look at Benjamin. "My physician."

Benjamin smiled slightly. "I wish I could be a physician. I could only dream."

"Please, do not dream. Your dreams are always strange."

"Yours are not?"

"Not as strange as yours are," he said. Ethan was silent for a while, staring into Benjamin's eyes with fondness that he'd never gotten from anyone else before. "Why do you not want to train to become a knight?" They've spoken about Benjamin not caring to be one, but he realized that he never said _why_.

"I may be the best at sword fighting," Benjamin said, exaggerating how good he was at it, "but it is not my calling. I would like to help others more, make people happy and well." His way of making sure people were well was to work alongside the physician, sometimes even helping the king in matters concerning the lower class.

"That is wonderful," Ethan said. "But do you know what is more wonderful?"

"Being in bed with you?"

"Yes, and waking up," Ethan said, parting from Benjamin to wear his clothes. "I need to make sure that your grandmother's new house will be built soon."

"Ethan," Benjamin said. "You do not have to rush it." He knew Ethan still felt guilt over what he's done, but Benjamin and his grandmother had both forgiven him. His way of making things better was to make a new place for her to live in quickly.

"I know," Ethan said. "I am not doing this for myself, Benjamin. I am doing this for her."

Benjamin did not know how much he believed that, but he chose to trust Ethan's words for now.

"Will you not leave the bed? You do not want to be unprepared before he arrives," Ethan said.

Oh, the physician? He did not care. He was an old man – a wise old man, but an old man who did not care for Benjamin being prepared or not. "He does not notice me half of the time." He stood up, knowing that he _should_ be prepared regardless.

Ethan finished putting on his clothes, kissed Benjamin once more, then left, his colorful kingly clothing making him seem so different and confident. He was sure that if Ethan was not royalty or was not noble, he would not be the kind to catch people's eyes. But even then, Benjamin felt as if he would catch Benjamin's eyes.

As Benjamin walked through the castle that morning, he knew how lucky of a man he was. He'd never thought he was end up with the king, but here he was, in the castle, not hiding his love for Ethan. A kind lover, a wonderful grandmother, and a reachable dream? What more could he wish for?

* * *

**It's the end! I hope you guys are satisfied. I know the ending is a little rushed, but I didn't really want to pad it out with useless things. Also, I just wanna move on to another fic idea. Which one from my twelve other ideas (which you can view in my bio if you're on Fanfiction) will I chose? Who knows! I don't know. Random dot org knows cause God knows I use that for every decision I can't make.**

**Reviews and comments appreciated and …**

**Until the next story!**


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